Archive for the ‘Hotassery’ Category

Above the Fold Trumpdate!!!!!

I cannot listen to any pol for more than 8 seconds. The only politician’s speech I’ve watched in its entirety ever (beginning when St. Jimmeh was POTUS) was Bush’ speech from 10/2001.

I can listen to Trump speak. I know he’s a huckster and you can’t know if he’s going to do what he says he’s going to do, but he does not lie about reality the way every other pol in my lifetime has done (even Ronnie Raygun).

Now, back to our regularly scheduled post, you can read it in its entirety!

 

I’m going to get my car later on. It pisses me off because I have to deal with the police. Sonomabatch. I don’t dislike cops, I just do not like getting into situations where I have to deal with them.

Commonsense and Wonder has a heartwarming story of a First Person in Canadia overcoming adversity!

An indigenous woman in Calgary, Canada who yelled “I hate white people” before punching a white woman in the face and knocking her tooth out did not commit a racially motivate hate crime, a provincial court judge has ruled.

 

I will say I’m surprised they didn’t charge the evil white woman for premeditated whiteness and conspiracy to be white.

 

Where would the ‘tubes be if more people had any introspection? Boring and less funny, that’s where.

Planned Parenthood’s tweet.

ironical

Tens of millions of clumps of cells were unavailable for comment.

Forgot to h/t it. The Lonely Libertarian.

 

Via Legal Insurrection, another juxtaposition of Hillary! saying she broke no laws and Comey saying, “Everything that cankle said was bullshit.”

 

 

Last, a heinous act.

According to the Post, the Internet Is Furious Over Penny’s Picture of her dogs!!!

She had a a 4th of July pic up of her dogs sitting on a flag and Everybody Is Up In Arms!!!!!!!!

While it does have me OUTRAGED!!!!!, in her defense, she’s an idiot. I can almost hear her thinking as she took the picture, “This is so patriotic!!!! Everybody will love this!!!”

No, the OUTRAGE is that she didn’t post nekkid or near nekkid pics of her. Her boob job came out great, I wanted to see them.

(more…)

Har.

I’ve been pretty busy with work and vacation and, well, being lazy, so I haven’t tubed much lately. I try to watch the news but really, I could care less what idiocy Yale fools do and watching whatever the hell is happening in Missouri seems like too much effort to try to understand, just nitwit leftists going all Stalin, so I have no idea what the hell is happening but it appears to be pretty darn endy and only peripherally funny.

But today I tubed and realized, it’s freaking hilarious.

This misleading headline makes me laugh.

Headline

Little Support for Punishing Global Warming Foes

From the body of the article.

Democrats (27%), however, favor prosecuting those who don’t agree with global warming.

Do you realize that more than a quarter of Dems want to punish people who are in favor of the scientific method?

It’s like the Scopes Monkey Trial all over again, except now we have the anti-science people screeching about being all scientifical and shit. I’d be many of that 27% are in government or Penn State. Which makes it funnier IMIO.

 

I have an idea, let’s let our European betters tell us how to govern!!!!!

It has long been believed that when it comes to interest rates, zero is as low as you can go….

But for the people who control the world’s money, this idea has recently been thrown out of the window. Many central banks have pushed their rates into negative territory and yet the financial system has still (not? V) to come to an abrupt end.

 

So does that mean I’ll have to pay interest on my savings account?

Makes me wonder if this is what that moh-ron Yellen is talking about.

“Policymakers have to carefully weigh the advantages and disadvantages of alternative monetary implementation frameworks in the presence of new policy tools,” Yellen said

Sure that’s gobbledeygook, but I think she thinks it means something. Which would be pretty darn funny in a Monty Python movie but pretty darn scary in the real world.

Methinks it’s time to  forget about buying more silver and gold and focus on wood, polymer, steel, brass, lead, complex, fast-burning chemicals and toilet paper. They’re going to be the new exchange medium after the collapse.

 

For the record, contrary to what is being written, neither I nor my mild-mannered, alter-ego are gay.

…upcoming Scholastic Book Fair includes a gay character… “Captain Underpants and the Sensational Saga of Sir Stinks-A-Lot”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

 

I do have to admit, it’s been funny watching people realize that maybe, just maybe, Polie-ico are a bunch of lying Minitrue members in good-standing.

As was evident to anybody who ever paid any attention to them at all long ago, starting with their first Big Story!!!!!, a lying hitjob on Fred Thompson that was proven a lie as soon as video of the incident came out and continuing on with every “Scoop!!!!” they’ve ever had.

 

Two last things,

This is funny.

Donald Trump said Wednesday he was shocked to see Hillary Clinton’s latest hairdo, calling it “massive” in an interview on conservative talk radio.

You have to admit, Trump making fun of someone else’s hair is downright hilarious.

I will say that in Drudge’s pic, it does look like a wig.

 

This ain’t funny.

Cuz it’s true.

 

Okay, I lied. Two more things below the fold.

(more…)

Says Ted Cruz.

Har dee har har har.

 

Now, I know most of you won’t click that, even though you should. I almost did myself, so I’ll relate what others might have heard if they clicked vids not containing hot little Japanese girls in teddies.

So of course the Senate runs on trust, they trust each other to not get all litigious over each other’s felonious behavior.

More

“That we don’t lie to each other.”, 

they lie to him because he feels he represents the people who elected him and not himself, the We’re Better And Smarter Than You Party has to lie to me, and therefore him because he would tell me the truth. Duh.

“…Was there a deal?”

The answer to that is never “Yes”, it’s always “Of course there’s a deal!”

Idealism is great, but that shows a profound disregard  for recent (as in, the last 10 years) history.

 

…makes an explicit promise… I cast my vote….assume that when the majority leader spoke to 54 GOP senators that he wasn’t lying to us. …It became agundantly clear that there was a deal…

I will note to the public the Majority Leader and the Speaker of the House have repeatedly said…”we made no deal.”…. a number of weeks ago…the Iran review act…..I filed an amendment that would…by requiring….before sanctions were lifted….Senator Marco Rubio called for an amendment…..on the Dem side of the Aisle did not want to vote….the Majority Leader called off all amendments….”

 

Geez, it’s as if he thinks the people who elected him have a say in how he votes?!?!?!?!?!?!

He calls Harry Reid a whiny bitch and immediately says McConnell is acting like the Dem Majority Leader.

Then he notes that McConnell called up an amendment after blocking everybody else’s amendment.

More

“…we (Teh Peepul) keep winning elections and then we keep getting leaders who don’t do anything they promise…”

 

From Nancy Pelosi draining the corrupt swamp to Mitch McConnell lying so much that Cruz is taking almost 20 minutes to detail many of his lies but Cruz could go on for hours. We’ve been profoundly lied to by the leadership of both Houses of Congress for a long damn time.

 

“the Majority Leader looked me in the eye…a flat out lie…. was a simple lie.”

 

Nobody except people the, I’d guess, fewer than 100,000 who read righty blogs and our fine Minitrue Betters will know about this, the rest of America is still worried about what Caitlyn Jenner is doing about its wang.

And that’s why we’re boned.

Below the Fold, An Important Critical And Well Deserved Update!!!!!!

 

(more…)

Pretty funny.

In the first major speech of her scandal-plagued presidential campaign, Democrat Hillary Clinton explicitly raised the issue of sexual assault on college campuses.

Wait for it….. wait for it……

Thanks to her husband’s actions as president and as the governor of Arkansas, Hillary is no stranger to the sexual assault scourge.

You know, from the supply side of sexual assault. .

The only freude we’re getting these days is schaden.

Since this post is about ladyparts, some feminist poetry about lady parts below the fold.

(more…)

It Would Take A Miracle

Posted: March 25, 2015 by veeshir in Hotassery, Random Crap

While we’re waiting for Miracle Max, since we’re leaving stuff up here for a long time I figure it should be something important, something classy. Something that upholds all the values of this blo….wait, that’s not right.

It needs to be childish, stupid and have tits.

 

Which Cartoon Character Would You Be For A Day?

Rather, which would be your second choice? as I’m disqualifying Roger Rabbit from consideration.

Why? He’s zany, wacky, can’t be killed and

jessica gif

Yeah. I’d spend the day fucking like a rabbit.

So, which would it be?

Now, the cartoon character I’d most like to hang out with is obviously Bugs Bunny, assuming of course that he doesn’t treat me like Elmer Fudd, but which would I want to be?

Characters like Homer, Bender, Peter Griffin and others of their ilk would be fun. I mean, what none-self-respecting moron wouldn’t like to be able to do absolutely any crazy drunken thing and come out okay? I decided against it because that’s pretty much my life anyway.

The Tasmanian Devil would be cool, so long as you’re not messing with Bugs.

Super Heroes would be fun at first but I don’t want to spend the whole day saving the freaking world and, to quote Mr. Incredible, sometimes you just wish it would stay saved.

Being a guy, I could have a blast being Yacko or Wacko, sorta like Bugs but less cerebral. If I were a Wymyns I would probably like to be Dot, all pretty, petite and ready to kick ass, but I passed on them. Too obvious.

Who else?………..

Hannah Barbera has their moments, but pass. I don’t want to spend my day stuck in a pet shop window.

Tennessee Tuxedo could be fun, what with all the time travelling and learning, but you’d have to hang out with Chumley. Duuuuuuh gee Tennessee, What are we going to do today?

Me and Mr. Whoopee are going to fucking kill you.

I almost went with a super villain like Dr. Doom or the Brain. How much fun would it be to spend a day trying to take over the world? A hell of a lot, that’s how much. But then I figured with my luck it would be the day I lose to my arch-nemesis.

But I finally went with a surprise, random pick.

Stoney Curtis!

stoney curtis

Why?

Because Betty and Wilma swooned over him and I would love to have a threesome with those two.

twosomes

Getting my rocks off.

And don’t tell me Tony Curtis is gay, I don’t care, Stoney Curtis is not. He’s a cartoon character. The only cartoon character that’s gay, as everyone who watched Soap knows, is Pluto.

Below the fold, pics of Pluto being gay.

(more…)

Above the post observational update!!!!!!

First, why is everybody talking about the Sony deal as a cyberterrorists when they threatened to kill Americans who went to theaters showing this?

I mean, it was bad when they went after Sony folks cyberterroristically, but then they changed to Hezbollah/IRA terrorism of just killing people. That’s not cyber, that’s terrorism.

Second, did I just see Charles Krauthammer say we needed to give the gov’t vast, sweeping powers and trust them and then, even crazier, Mara Liasson disputed that? Yes, yes I did. And so did you if you were watching the 6:30 panel (4:30 MT time).

I thought the Judge was going to blow his stack but he was far more calm than Charles’ statement deserved.

/update

Okay, that’s funny.

…caught her husband and twin cheating on her and followed them to a shopping centre using a mobile phone tracker.

She went to find husband Cheng, 30, who was completely naked in a car along with her sister.

Wait for it…..wait for it…..

they both jumped out of the car with not a thread of clothing.

But Ting saw her opportunity, jumped into the car and drove off

 

Via the only ‘stan that’s not actively trying to kill us, SondraKi.

Now, some funny endineness from Liberal Logic 101

This one is infuriatingly endy but kinda funny, in a horrific way.

content

That’s all about teh fucked up. Cuz it’s true.

Next, we have the next one.

content 2

Bingo, bango, bongo.

Although to be fair, lunatics don’t even have to get near a tea party event to be connected to the Tea Party (like that crazy loon who killed the conservative judge and shot the lefty gun-grabber in AZ).

Last, but not least in its endy funniness, is something that people as little as 30 years ago would think you were a loon for saying it would happen.

content 3

 

All three utterly unfunny because they’re true.

Bwahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

Below the fold, via one of the greatest web pages in the universe, Giphy, a wonderful gif.

(more…)

Important Update Below!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is hilarious.

You know who the big winner was in last week’s election?

No, not the GOP, this is a minitrue outlet after all.

The big winner was Hillary Clinton, that’s who.

Yes, I am all too aware that a few candidates who were given the Clinton stamp of approval—complete with multiple campaign appearances by Bill and Hillary—went down in flames.

 

You see, just because Arkansas switched to GOP in a way that hasn’t happened since the Civil War doesn’t mean a thing, The fact that the people she campaigned for lost is immaterial. In this world the Dems are always winning, and if they lose? That’s because you’re too stupid to realize they won.

He blames it on Obama, but ignores that Hillary! failed miserably in her bid to be a power broker.

 

Battlespace preparation or just a true believer truly believing?

A little from column A and a little from column B I figure.

I do expect us to see Minitrue explaining how Hillary! will fix everything Obama’s done because she’s just so politically astute and totally not an unlikable, cold, calculating liar.

 

An Important, Classical Music Interlude!!!!!!!!

 

Rock me Amadeus.

It’s funny, I always thought Carl W. Stalling wrote that.

Via the Jawas