Archive for the ‘It’s Always a Good Time to include Sheldon Cooper PhD’ Category

Nonna y’all got in on my windmill-powered airplanes and now it’s too late. Sonomobatch. It was such a good idea too. It was the perfect blend of stupid and ignorant. So stupid that ignorant fools would think it sounded smart and when we were done we’d have a couple Mosquito bombers and P-51 Mustangs.

Since it’s too late, I figure I’ll go for a socio-mathematical grant.

Before I get into that, I want to talk about a Kindle book I just read. It’s called “We are legion, we are Bob” by Dennis Taylor.

The blurb at Amazon says something about a guy freezing his head, becoming property, being put on a hard-drive and the becoming the AI for a probe. Some more about it below. No real spoilers, just why I like the book and you will too.

So Bob is a sci-fi geek who sold his Internet company for a metric boatload of money and now he’s very rich. He’s all excited he can get an all access pas for a sci-fi con and he pays to have his head frozen (because they’ll be able to grow you a new body by then!!!), dies, gets frozen and wakes up on a hard-drive, they destroyed his head in doing that.

He’s tested for suitability, and non-going-crazy-ability, to be the guiding intelligence of a von neumann probe, a self-replicating factory deal that you send to somewhere and it builds more stuff, he’s supposed to go out and build colonies. 

He goes out and the first thing he does is build more Bobs, they have to take a different name, since they’re sci-fi geeks, their names are Bender, Homer, Khan and stuff, but they’re all ‘Bobs’. 

The new Bobs help control all factories and ‘roamers’ and stuff, then they all get their own ships and some go out and start over.

By the end of the book there are probably 20 or more Bobs running around the galaxy fighting enemies, building colonies and just doing geeky, sci-fi stuff. It’s a very fun book. I bet a dollar Ringo, Kratman, the Davids Drake and Weber and a few others will want to get into that Universe. It’s just fun. I want to be Bob. So go the the puppy blender, the motheship or someone who makes money off Amazon sales and get it. It’s either 2.99 or 3.99.

 

So, on to my fascinating new mathematics field and some of you might be able to get in on the ground floor!

In light of the OUTRAGE!!!!! by our fine media betters,

At the moment there are so many outrages, executive orders, protests, and controversies that none of them can get enough oxygen in our brains. I can’t obsess about problem X because the rest of the alphabet is coming at me at the same time.

 

I figured that Trump could use something  to quantify exactly how to get the most minitrue-freaking-frothiness out of each action he plans on taking without going too far.

So he can maximize the number of ‘ha’s for each of our ‘bwa’s.

The equation I’ve developed is F=MA

Where:

F=Frothiness, M=Mania, A=Aggresiveness

M=P/I, P=Passion, I=Intelligence,

A=Aggressiveness for or against the object, Trump’s actions in this case. I can’t figure out the components for A, but it will involve education-level and partisanship. Judging from the last 16 years, I don’t think I’ll need the actual merits of any action to determine how much for or against it most partisans will be, I’ll just have to figure out how to quantify their partisanship.

High levels of education (PhD or JD for instance) will actually be the same multiplier as very little education. Too much education is just as bad as too little, that’s how we got Krugman.

 

As you can see, M is much easier to figure out. The lower the intellect the higher the M in general so I’ll focus on just F=M=P/I. As I get a baseline, I can start to figure out the A. It might even be a constant as the components equal out, mulitiplicatively speaking.

For instance,  I would guess Hannity and the Wash Post have the same absolute value for the multiplier, as I’d guess Hannity is averagely educated for a journalist and he’s about as intelligent, they’d be positive and negative values of course, i.e., mirrored around a center much like the number line.

Nancy Pelosi has just about the highest recorded M. Her intellect is exceedingly low, combined with her high level of public-consumption-intended Passion index and you get an M that approaches infinity and thus, her F (frothiness) will also approach infinity.

Nancy Pelosi on today’s vote: “What we’re trying to do is save the world from the Republican budget. We’re trying to save life on this planet as we know it today.”

That’s almost infinitely stupid.

I think I’m on to something!

In the age of Trump, the former Speaker of the House sounded positively nostalgic about working with President George W. Bush, who she once called a “total failure” in 2008. “What else did we work with him on?” Pelosi asked out loud before listing the TARP Wall Street bailouts

That’s her bragging. No really, she claimed she’s proud of working with W and bailing out Wall Street. She’s basically just frothing at the mouth until words come out. A million monkeys taking a million hits of acid would probably say similar stuff.

 

So how is it useful?

Take the first integral, or F1. That’s the ‘velocity’ or speed at which the froth flows.

F1= (F2/2) +C

Where C=Time elapsed in Trump’s presidency. Now, I’ve decided to use millifroths so I can use days for C. Notice the longer Trump is in office, the higher the minimum ‘velocity’ of froth. By the end of his second term all you’ll have to do is write the letter “T” and any CNN anchor will be all

chris-matthews

 

Notice in the second integral, the ‘acceleration’ or how quickly the frother becomes frothy, the elapsed time is now multiplied by the frothiness.

I’m trying to get it to work so the “+ C” in the second integral is 1/(days left until Trump leaves office).

That way, the longer Trump is in office the higher the baseline acceleration for frothiness. That would show that near the end of his second term, by the time you get halfway through writing the “T”, the Wash Post will already be working up a full scale FAKE NEWS BLITZ-KRY and wetting themselves.

 

Trump could use this to precisely calculate the effect of things he wants to do as his POTUSy passes.

I figure that’s worth a couple $million grant.

Who’s in?

 

Above The Post Important, Oral Sex!!!!!!!!!!!!, Update!!!!!!

MADONNA OFFERS ORAL SEX TO ANYONE WHO VOTES FOR HILLARY CLINTON
“And I do swallow.”

At least she’s accepted who her likely taker are.

graveyard

Bazinga!

Now, back to our posts in its entireties!

I saw this in drafts, I’m not sure when I wrote it, but it’s prepping the battlespace, against me, so here it is.

 

 

DHS says (pdf warning!!!) we need to stop saying words like ‘jihad’ and ‘sharia‘.

I’m fer stopping using those words, let’s use ones like “Crusade” (as in, “Let’s win the Crusades this time!!!!), and “don’t own slaves or beat your wife!”

But that’s not all that important as that report is only useful for surrendering to jihadis who want to implement sharia or for Americans to make fun of it.

I know which I am.

This report focuses on the spread of violent extremist ideology and the recruitment of American youth to extremist groups,

In other words, violent, extremist tea party ideology not islamic.

To effectively address and conquer the challenge of violent extremism,

Notice again “violent extremism”, they do not mean Islamic, they mean me and other people who think the Constitution is the foundation of the govt’s power.

Many experts expressed concerns that funding is tied to the same agencies that have law enforcement mandates or that CVE stigmatizes some of the very communities it seeks to help, notably the American Muslim communities

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should stigmatize Muslim communities, it seems Islamists and “moderate” Muslims do that enough for all of us, but notice “some” immediately defend the American Muslim community. The “some” being the ‘journalist’.

But the point of the deal is that the ‘very communities’ it should seek to help is America, not just Muslim communities in America.

The United States Government must take all forms of violent extremism and radicalization seriously, prioritizing those forms that pose the greatest threats to safety and security, most urgently.

In other parts of the world, that “all forms” bit means “Israel”, when the Obama admin says it, they mean me. People who think the Constitution means something are the greatest threats to our fine oligarchical “elitist” assholes.

To include those that espouse and/or undertake violence justified through various ideologies, to include anarchists, sovereign citizens, white-supremacists, and others.

Once again, they do not say “Islamic”, because they mean me.

They eventually get around to discussing ISIS (ISIL as they call it. I wonder why? They call themselves ISIS) but then they go off the tracks.

we have constructed language in daily use that promotes an “us and them” narrative of division

And they want to stop that Narrative Of Division! See, just cuz they want to kill us doesn’t mean we should make it all confrontational.

 

Coupla other funnies.

s to fight child exploitation, including the plights of child soldiers and child slavery.

So, they’re going to get us out of the UN? Most of that stuff is Africa, but as we’ve seen, ISIS is all about child soldiers and child slave-wives.

Sigh. That’s what we can expect more of if Hillary! wins.

Last night, before the debate, I wrote this next post but I didn’t post it because it went in a totally different direction than I was expecting.

 

I had a long post about how maybe voting Hillary! might be a good idea. Seriously.

I’d been thinking about what happens after the election and, maybe I’m just crazy, but neither one is likely to make 6 months as POTUS.

We get Trump as POTUS and ytou know our fine establishment betters, with Minitrue’s help, can whip an impeachment tout suite, so he’s probably immediately impeached and kicked out (The empire strikes back!!) so goes on to his new reality show, “Who Wants To Be POTUS?” or possibly a presidential trivia game show.

We get Pence, which is probably a best case case.

Hillary! won’t last because I could see her getting sworn in and passing out in public in about ohhhh….. 8 minutes. January in DC can be a scorching 50 degrees, so we get Kaine.

Then I got to the part about being either Pence or Kaine.

[#Beginning of Shooting Data Section] Nikon D3X 1/9/2013 13:24:03.66 Time Zone and Date: UTC-5, DST:OFF RAW (14-bit) Image Size: L (6048 x 4032), FX Lens: 85mm f/1.4G Artist: Copyright: Focal Length: 85mm Exposure Mode: Manual Metering: Matrix Shutter Speed: 1/200s Aperture: f/7.1 Exposure Comp.: 0EV Exposure Tuning: ISO Sensitivity: ISO 100 Optimize Image: White Balance: Preset manual d-1, 0, 0 Focus Mode: AF-C AF-Area Mode: Single AF Fine Tune: OFF VR: Long Exposure NR: OFF High ISO NR: OFF Color Mode: Color Space: Adobe RGB Tone Comp.: Hue Adjustment: Saturation: Sharpening: Active D-Lighting: Normal Vignette Control: Normal Auto Distortion Control: Picture Control: [SD] STANDARD Base: [SD] STANDARD Quick Adjust: 0 Sharpening: 3 Contrast: Active D-Lighting Brightness: Active D-Lighting Saturation: 0 Hue: 0 Filter Effects: Toning: Map Datum: Image Authentication: OFF Dust Removal: [#End of Shooting Data Section]

Dude has crazy eyes. Seriously. That’s him at what his people think is his best, non-crazy eyes, it’s cropped from his official picture,

Now, I could see them planning on him stepping down after appointing as VP somebody like… who? Nancy Pelosi? That’s funny. For about 2 seconds. Bernie? Maybe that’s why he shut up, or I’m not sure who, but someone the Dem leadership likes ain’t gonna be good.

Alternatively….Kaine decides it’s good to be king. That’s funny too. For about 6 seconds.

 

If Hillary! wins, we get Hillary! as POTUS or we get to watch a hard-left vs establishment pricks civil war with parts of minitrue ignoring it and/or taking different sides so we’re still definitely boned as they agree on pretty much everything except who gets the biggest seat at the trough. It might be funnier than watching Trump get impeached but we’d still be boned.

 

In either case, there’s the wildcard of the Obama admin and Minitrue going crazy and we the people are boned if Trump wins or them going a little less crazy if Hillary! wins but we’re still boned as they go after us in their Chicago-machine/jackbooted way.

So we’re back to the .50BMG or unkown gun choice.

We do have one thing going for us.

Cleveland made it to the World Series, now all we need is Chicago to get in and we’ll at least have a date before which WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It would make the whole end of civilization funnier if it kept either team from winning the Series. As we all know, whoever’s in charge of this sorry ball of mud has a very twisted sense of humor.

 

 

“This room is full of mirrors,” the Queen was heard to tell the President as she led him into the Oak Room.

 

And I bet a dollar he was too stupid to understand she just called him a narcissistic tool.

Cuz he’s an idiot.

Quoth the Belgian Interior minister:

 

“A significant section of the Muslim community danced when attacks took place,”

 

Yeah, I heard that too.

 

no tango class

 

 

Bazinga!

 

Harvey at IMAO (one of FrnakJ’s calmer personalities) links this bit of highlarity about how Scientists! can now predict Crimes!!!!!!!!

Harvey, not a fan of illegal immigration, says,

My prediction: the violent criminal aliens gutless liberals protect in sanctuary cities.

Yeah, but I’d say he’s missing the point.

These people are trying to get a computer to do the profiling people are not allowed to do (unless they’re profiling white men as future slave owners).

They’ve made a computer program that looks at prior felonious behavior (wife-beating in this case to keep the SJWs away), but it could, I’d assume, be almost as good as me at predicting that people who commit crimes are likely to commit crimes (and/or terrorism and/or corruptionism) again.

That’s not Science!!! folks, it’s common fucking sense.

Which is about as common as a politician who gives shit one about America.

We’ll know if we can trust the next asshole by whether or not they go after Obamacare and/or the immigration crap. i.e. the reasons they won the last election.

When I asked my magic 8-ball what to expect, it said “All signs point to you’re an idiot for even asking that fucking question. Of course they won’t do shit. Moron.”

 

Since I’m not posting much, my new job is kicking my ass, I’ll leave you with a horrible pun (It was that or a mime. You’re welcome.)

I talk about math to groups of people, my left eye was blinded 33 years ago so it doesn’t track very well with the other one anymore, the blind one is wide open while the good one squints.

What that means is that if I’m talking to someone more than 5 feet away, he or she looks over her or his shoulder because they can’t tell where I’m looking.

It’s annoying to me and that person. It’s not anybody’s fault (except the guy who hit me with the ski pole), but it’s still very annoying.

So now I wear an eye patch.

Since I teach math, I figured I’d go with a bad pun.

i patch

 

I’m mostly hoping I don’t run into a mathematician who slaps me in the face for that.

 

Quoth George W Bush, (link added) ostensibly speaking about Putin (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) and totally not Obama, using NBC  (wholly owned subsidiary of Obama-God-President Inc.) was just a coincidence.

Putin’s domestic popularity comes from his control of Russian media, according to Bush. “Hell, I’d be popular, too, if I owned NBC news,” he said.

 

Bazinga!

 

That article has a bunch of goodies, but that one made me laugh the most.

This one makes me cry the most

“In order to be an effective president … when you say something you have to mean it,”

Yeah, W knew that, the last two Dem POTUSes and W’s father did not and we have had nothing but trouble because of that.

 

Speaking of Tsar Putin, his Cossacks are initiating....recreating the route of the Soviet invasion of  Poland and Germany in WWII.

 

They are mixing their metaphors, they’re flying Soviet flags and carrying Stalin’s message but Putin is a Tsar. Confusing.

Germany and Poland remembering the last few times Russian Cossacks came storming through, are they’re not amused, they have both banned them but the Cossacks are still going to try.