Archive for the ‘It’s Always a Good Time to include Sheldon Cooper PhD’ Category

“This room is full of mirrors,” the Queen was heard to tell the President as she led him into the Oak Room.

 

And I bet a dollar he was too stupid to understand she just called him a narcissistic tool.

Cuz he’s an idiot.

Quoth the Belgian Interior minister:

 

“A significant section of the Muslim community danced when attacks took place,”

 

Yeah, I heard that too.

 

no tango class

 

 

Bazinga!

 

Harvey at IMAO (one of FrnakJ’s calmer personalities) links this bit of highlarity about how Scientists! can now predict Crimes!!!!!!!!

Harvey, not a fan of illegal immigration, says,

My prediction: the violent criminal aliens gutless liberals protect in sanctuary cities.

Yeah, but I’d say he’s missing the point.

These people are trying to get a computer to do the profiling people are not allowed to do (unless they’re profiling white men as future slave owners).

They’ve made a computer program that looks at prior felonious behavior (wife-beating in this case to keep the SJWs away), but it could, I’d assume, be almost as good as me at predicting that people who commit crimes are likely to commit crimes (and/or terrorism and/or corruptionism) again.

That’s not Science!!! folks, it’s common fucking sense.

Which is about as common as a politician who gives shit one about America.

We’ll know if we can trust the next asshole by whether or not they go after Obamacare and/or the immigration crap. i.e. the reasons they won the last election.

When I asked my magic 8-ball what to expect, it said “All signs point to you’re an idiot for even asking that fucking question. Of course they won’t do shit. Moron.”

 

Since I’m not posting much, my new job is kicking my ass, I’ll leave you with a horrible pun (It was that or a mime. You’re welcome.)

I talk about math to groups of people, my left eye was blinded 33 years ago so it doesn’t track very well with the other one anymore, the blind one is wide open while the good one squints.

What that means is that if I’m talking to someone more than 5 feet away, he or she looks over her or his shoulder because they can’t tell where I’m looking.

It’s annoying to me and that person. It’s not anybody’s fault (except the guy who hit me with the ski pole), but it’s still very annoying.

So now I wear an eye patch.

Since I teach math, I figured I’d go with a bad pun.

i patch

 

I’m mostly hoping I don’t run into a mathematician who slaps me in the face for that.

 

Quoth George W Bush, (link added) ostensibly speaking about Putin (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) and totally not Obama, using NBC  (wholly owned subsidiary of Obama-God-President Inc.) was just a coincidence.

Putin’s domestic popularity comes from his control of Russian media, according to Bush. “Hell, I’d be popular, too, if I owned NBC news,” he said.

 

Bazinga!

 

That article has a bunch of goodies, but that one made me laugh the most.

This one makes me cry the most

“In order to be an effective president … when you say something you have to mean it,”

Yeah, W knew that, the last two Dem POTUSes and W’s father did not and we have had nothing but trouble because of that.

 

Speaking of Tsar Putin, his Cossacks are initiating....recreating the route of the Soviet invasion of  Poland and Germany in WWII.

 

They are mixing their metaphors, they’re flying Soviet flags and carrying Stalin’s message but Putin is a Tsar. Confusing.

Germany and Poland remembering the last few times Russian Cossacks came storming through, are they’re not amused, they have both banned them but the Cossacks are still going to try.

What the Shit?

There’s a lot that’s predictable in a “What the Shit?” way and there’s a lot that’s that weird in the “What the Shit?” sort of way.

We’ve seen this State Dept “Advisor”  dude before telling the Copts to stop bleeding all over Egypt, here he is happy he doesn’t have to defend the Muslim Brotherhood anymore. Cuz now everybody realizes they’re great and shit.

What the Shit?

As Israel is bombing the shit out of Hamas,  you all what what Obama is going to say even as you say, “What the shit?” when he tells both sides to step back. You know, back to when Israel just let Hamas shoot rockets into Israel almost every single day some years but pretty constantly no matter what.

Israel is looking at the same thing our enemies are looking at and realizing they’re on their own and Obama is a weak, feckless tool who just wishes the world would leave him alone to eat his waffles.

 

Ukraine is done with being nice.

New battles raged in Ukraine’s east on July 1 as President Petro Poroshenko announced the end of a shaky 11-day ceasefire and said a new “active phase” of the government’s “anti-terrorist operation” would restart to quash pro-Russian separatists.

What the shit? Don’t you know you’re on your own? The President Feckless and the even more feckless EUnuchs aren’t going to help you. Unless the Germans are feeling like killing someone.

What the shit? I’m rooting for warlike Germans?!?!?!?!??

I don’t feel like looking to see what China’s doing today in the South China Sea, just assume they’re acting like murderous, commie dictators. Expansionist, murderous, commie dictators.

In more oligarchs trying to strengthen their hold news, let’s go the America!

Haley Barbour’s peeps were behind a bunch of the stuff calling tea partiers racist in Mississippi.

No word on those fliers, but it’s bound to come out. I wonder, when it’s discovered that a Republican did them, will whoever tells Cochran what to say tell him to step down?

Sorry, I should have put a drink warning in there or at least a “What the shit?” warning.

We’re just finding out there was some good old fashioned politicking going on there too.

A black reverend stiffed by the Cochran campaign has exposed an alleged criminal conspiracy by Cochran staffers to commit massive voter fraud …

says he delivered “hundreds or even thousands,” of blacks to the polls … “They [the Cochran campaign] told me to offer blacks fifteen dollars each and to vote for Thad.”

 

What the shit? The GOP is paying Democrats to vote for their guy? All they do is call me names and ask me for money.

The GOP establishment pricks there are also making it so McDaniel’s peeps cannot look at the votes to see who voted in both primaries so they’re having to sue to get access.

The lawsuit asks the court to grant immediate access to voting records to inspect for possible illegal voting. It asserts that “defendants failed to properly abide by federal election record maintenance and open records provisions codified in the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 (NVRA). Records made partially available to the plaintiffs indicated ‘double-voting’ from Democratic to Republican primaries – potentially diluting votes in violation of the Equal Protection Clause.”

 

What the shit? Is everybody going all Chicago-Machine politics on us or was always this prevalent but I just didn’t notice?  How come nobody told me? I mean, I knew it was in the big, Dem-Machine cities where I’ve lived, but I didn’t think it was everywhere.

Speaking of Chicago-Machine politics and people getting upset, this is a serious What the Shit? deal,

A bunch of people blocked buses of illegals on their way to being “processed” and released.

More than 100 people waving American flags and holding signs that opposed “new illegals” waited in the hot sun for the three charter buses to arrive at the U.S. Customs and Border Protection station in Murrieta, about an hour north of San Diego.

 

Stuff is really pissing people off.Telling America they suck as you break all the laws is pissing off Teh Peepul as they haven’t been pissed off before. in a long time. (that’s what I mean to say)

 

So CERN found the GOD-PARTICLE!!!!!!! (Higgs Boson) and now they’re all upset because nobody cares enough to give them money.

Because after finding it in July 2012 — and confirming it six months later, after almost 50 years of searching — what else is left? The anti-climax was inevitable.

Sure enough, the world is far less interested in this project, and much less money is being invested in it.

 

What the shit? You called it the God Particle and told us it was going to CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!!!!! and it’s changed….. dialogue on the Big Bang Theory.

You oversold and now you’re paying the price. Eh, should have gone into global warmmongering.

 

A few years ago I was sorta following a story in the NY Post about a CANNIBAL!!!!!, he was convicted and I noted,

Okay, now I feel kind of stupid, apparently the “Cannibal” of the NY Post didn’t actually eat anybody, he just read websites about it and talked about it. I’m not defending any of that, but he didn’t actually do anything but talk shit on the intertubes.

And now we see

. Well, a judge has decided he was just kidding. So he overturned his conviction.

What the shit? You really convicted a dude for playing stuff on the intertubes? That article is kind of OUTraged that the guy was let off, but he didn’t do anything. Jebus.

 

A couple chucklers,

News From The 1980s!

Transformers 4, A Chinese Menu Of Product Placement

 

I don’t know, that just made me laugh. I mean, What the shit?  Are you upset it’s no longer Japanese stuff or are you surprised/OUTRAGED!!!! that Transformers went all commercial?

 

In Italy they’re going all CSI on Ernest and Julio.

It’s a genetic test, but no body parts or blood are being analyzed — it’s bottles of wine instead.

That’s not really a What the shit?, they have their priorities straight.

 

I didn’t realize I had that many links open. What the shit? that was a long post.

 

 

Geez, we haven’t had a good blogwar around here for ages.

Of course, we here at DPUD don’t blogwar against other blogs, we are all about the interblogwar.

I’ll start.

80s music sucks, they had far superior music in the

60s,

70s (it’s a 4 minute song, not sure what they do the last two minutes)

90s

and even the 00s

Remember folks, smack, LSD and pot make good music, cocaine only makes good movies.

Speaking of drugs, this is lame.

star trek wiz

Now maybe the rest would play that, but we all know Kirk would walk in (swoosh) in and start bitch-slapping people.

An artist’s rendition

Pic via The Outrider.Borepatch.