doubleplusundead

Teach a man Veeshing and he’ll be hilariously OUTRAGED! for ever.

First we’ll do some hilarity.

Terrorists have a new Facebook page. Seriously? What do they do? Suicide bomb Farmville?

Even funnier, terrorists have hacked the BBC’s weather twitter account. Al Gore hardest hit.

Now some endy that ain’t funny at all.

Lebanon is fucked. Sunni V Shiite in Tripolis is getting out of hand.

Deadly clashes erupted once again in Lebanon’s troubled northern city of Tripoli after simmering sectarian tensions boiled over into a melee of violence that has seen snipers fatally shoot people amid explosions and heavy gunfire.

Truck bombs on the way. Poor bastids.

A little hope in Egypt, Egyptians getting sick of Islamist assholes.

n two notable incidents in the northern province of Alexandria and the province of Suez, citizens beat bearded men who tried to impose their presence on the streets in order to preserve security. When the men tried to yell at women for what they saw as indecent clothing and threatened them with punishment if they ever wore those clothes again, the women yelled back at them and started hitting them with their shoes before passersby rallied, caught some of bearded men and beat the ones who were too slow to escape.

I’d be more on their side if they weren’t fine with it when the jihadis were killing Copts, but now that they’re going after eveybody else, well, that’s beyond the pale.

The Muslim Brotherhood is having problems in Cairo too.

Several thousand opponents of Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood clashed with supporters of the Islamist group near its headquarters in Cairo on Friday

I’m rooting for them, take your revolution back before you live in some Islamist shithole where not having a beard and listening to music is verboten.

Speaking of poor bastids, ethnic problems in Burma.

Myanmar has declared martial law in four central towns following unrest between Buddhists and Muslims that has left at least 20 people dead.

Agitated crowds of Buddhists were still roaming the streets and several neighbourhoods were still on fire or smouldering after hundreds of Muslims were forced to flee for their lives.

How pissed off do you have to make Buddhists to get them be all violent?

Not sure if this is good or bad, but it’s change.

The people of Turkey are digesting the historic statement from jailed rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan, who called for a PKK ceasefire on March 21….

“From now on the principles of the Turkish state could be different. It’s a process of creating a new constitution.

Maybe even some hope. I’m rooting for them, the Kurds just keep getting fucked.

Another case of exporting our values.

Most Ukrainians see their parliament representatives only once in four years — during the election campaign. But soon after getting elected, many deputies forget about accountability.

Just like ours!

My posts have been all disjointed so I’m trying for structure, this case of an unintentionally accurate headline is where we seg our ue to America.

Obama cements his symbolic support of Israel

Symbolic is absolutely correct, cuz he doesn’t support them in any other way.

This is one of those “Needs a different headline” stories.

US plan calls for more scanning of private Web traffic, email

Alternate headline: “Veeshir to put Fuck You DHS, NSA, FBI, CIA in the subject line of every email”

In more, “We’re fucking assholes” news, Via Weasel Zippers, we see some GOPers going for headlines and Democrats refusing to even symbolically say they’re against crushing America.

It would have sent the budget back to the Budget Committee until Saturday with instructions to make it balance by 2023.

They’re refusing to say they’ll balance the budget in 13 years. First, anything but this year is calling me an idiot as future Congresses will not be bound by this stupidity, second, seriously? Democrats don’t feel the need to even pretend they give a shit about fiscal sanity?

I mean, we’re going to be utterly fucked by 2023 so the budget will either be balanced by reality or we’ll all be serfs living in a EUnuchstania-like  EUtopia so this utterly symbolic thing was stupid from the get-go, but at least pretend to care.

In, We’re Running Out Of Money news, Paramus, NJ (shopping haven) is fining folks for leaving their lights on after dark.

-Businesses in Paramus, New Jersey are getting tickets when they leave their sign lights on….

“We’ve been her for 25 years and never had an issue,” Billard says.

They’re broke, tread carefully as they become creative about getting blood from your stones.

So the GOP has been trying to figure out what to do to be more palatable as a choice, so they’ve decided that the most important GOP presidential candidate to be like is…. Mike Fucking Huckabee!

Priebus cited former governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas as an example of someone who could be “a model for a lot of people in our party”

Seriously? If you were saying that to say, “Get the fuck out of politics and get a job as blow-dried telemprompter reader” I’d respect it, but he’s not. He thinks the candidate that was worse than both McCain and Romney is their fucking model.

So, still pissed off at me for saying Fuck the GOP I’m voting 3rd party instead of throwing my vote away?

Cold Fury just keeps harshing my mellow, and my mellow isn’t very yellow as it is. At least this one has some seriously hilarity.

Florida professor and high-ranking member of the Palm Beach County Democratic Party recently instructed his students to take out a piece of paper, write “JESUS” on it, then put it on the floor and stomp on it – and the Mormon student who refused to do so, calling the assignment morally offensive – was suspended….

In an emailed statement the university sent to CBS, campus officials stated “faculty and students at academic institutions pursue knowledge and engage in open discourse. While at times the topics discussed may be sensitive, a university environment is a venue for such dialogue and debate.”

Dialogue does not seem to mean what they think it does. Kid tried to introduce another viewpoint and they suspended him as they proudly talked about dialogue. That’s fucking funny. You know, so long as you’re not the kid who’s paying $thousands a year to go there.

In my life eggs have been good for you and bad for you, alternatingly, too many times to count. Ditto bacon, vino and sharp sticks in the eye… way, check that last one.

So has salt. I have an alternate take on this one though.

One in 10 Americans dies from eating too much salt, the researchers found.

Salt, necessary for human life is bad for you! If that were true, then NJ would be depopulated. Seriously, I’ve never met any people who put more salt on everything.

Some illustrations.

A little early for Caturday, but I might be busy tomorrow so I’m posting it today.

Via Tim Blair’s cat post we see this bit of evil hilarity.

Although, it just doesn’t seem as impressive as a bear skin rug. How can you brag about how it was about to bit your toes when you took it.

This is genius, I’m going to have to get one to go with my Gadsden Flags.

You know, cuz time’s pretty darn close to up.

Have fun everybody and don’t forget, if you’re not hilariously OUTRAGED!!!! you’re just not Veeshing.