Archive for the ‘Random Crap’ Category

Everything I Have To Say About The Media

Posted: January 22, 2017 by Moron Pundit in Fun With Media, Random Crap

cnn-logo

 

Yeah.   I might be back.   I have this feeling I’ll have a lot of penises to draw in the next 4-8 years.

No, I’m not playing some 80s music. How about a paean to the working man in honor of Trump?

(It starts real slow, so I’ve jumped to when the music starts. Shroeder is a little bitch so they have to play without him)

 

Not as good as Hey Ya, but still pretty good.

Let’s start with some EUnuchstanian Cause totally not Effect!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now global worming is so strong it’s recordly cold in EUnuchstan, they have mostly electric heat apparently.

So in France

“Avoid sending too many emails with large attachments” is among the power-saving measures suggested to the French public in order to prevent overloading the national grid during this week’s cold spell.

France is facing fears that a national power shortage could lead to widespread cuts.

In Amsterdam,

Amsterdam and the surrounding areas were plunged into darkness at 4.15 am local time leaving at least 364,000 customers without power

That’s why I never hit “reply all”.

 

In Akbar Britain

Britain will leave the EU’s single market when it exits the EU, putting an end to speculation that London might try to seek a “soft Brexit”….

Theresa May said….

That totally did not lead to this.

Sterling rose after May…

In the minutes that followed her comment, the UK pound surged 2.5% to an 11-day high of $1.2347.

The UK pound also gained more than 1.5% to 86.69% against the euro.

Politicians can screech about anything, but people who put their money where their mouth is cannot afford to ignore reality. (You know, except for the NYTimesWashPostCNNABCCBSNBCetc., they delight in losing money, but it’s a religious contribution. Think of it as tithing).

 

In Let’s Fuck The Country As Much As Possible Before I Leave news, Obama!

First, get those political appointees in the GS crew!

President Obama rushed to fill nearly 100 federal government vacancies during a frenzy of appointments in his final few weeks in office.

Since the new year, Obama has named 72 people to federal job openings and nominated another 17 for positions requiring Senate confirmation, according to CBS reporter Mark Knoller…..

The wave of announcements includes several White House officials, who will serve well after Obama leaves office. (I doubt they’ll serve well V)

 

Dick.

Next, Let’s Get The Country Even More Riled Up And Rioting with a politicized Dept. of “Justice” report on Chicago’s Cops!

Page 2, paragraph 3: 60 ride-alongs
Given that there are 279 police beats, three watches, that’s 837 potential ride-alongs. Not to mention rapid response, traffic, 06, tact, saturation, gang enforcement, boats, horses, god knows how many administrative and undercover beats, there’s probably nearly 1,200 potential ride-alongs in a 24 hour period. The DOJ claims they spent “300 person-days” here, that’s 360,000 opportunities to ride-along.
.016% – sixteen thousandths of one percent….

In other words, people with ingrained prejudices against the police, people with histories versus the police, people whose livelihood relies on suing the police – people with axes to grind. How many of these “interviewees” fit into one or more of those categories? How many were selected at random, or did they all volunteer to come forward with their stories? We know that certain retirees who left or resigned under investigation were all to eager to sit with the DOJ to air their supposed “grievances.”

More importantly, how many of these stories fall outside the supposed window of 2011 to 2016? Some? Many? All? We don’t know because in every single example cited throughout the report, no dates are given. Some of these stories could be ten or twenty years old. Maybe more, seeing as how they bring up Burge who has been gone for almost 25 years now (Wait, they’re blaming Iowahawk now? V)

 

Listen, he needed to rush that out before he left office so they could get the conclusion that whitewashes Rahm Emmanual and the Chicago political machine. Geez, these guys are cops in Chicago, you’d think they  understand that.

 

Since the commie lost here, let’s help the one left in Cuba!

The State Department, under Obama’s direction, signed a new law-enforcement agreement with Cuba Monday that seeks to deepen America’s newfound diplomatic roots with the island nation,…

(from USA Today linked article)Notably, the agreement did not include a return of U.S. fugitives that Cuba has harbored, including New Jersey cop killers, Black Panther hijackers and Puerto Rican terrorists.

Rhodes reiterated last month that Obama’s foreign policy with Cuba has been designed to be as “irreversible” as possible for President-elect Donald Trump.

 

Fuckhead.

Obama’s taking Airforce One, not home, but on another vacay we get to pay for.

TMZ reports that the family will board a helicopter after leaving the Capitol on Friday which will take them to Andrews Air Force Base, where they will board a government plane for the trip out west.

 

The article says that Obama will have to pay to get home but I bet a  dollar that in a month, when he wants to go back to DC, it’s going to be a National Emergency That Trump Refuses To Fly Him And His Family home On Air Force One!

 

So, did Obama fail?

As the debate continues over repeal of the Affordable Care Act and what might replace it, a growing share of Americans believe that the federal government has a responsibility to make sure all Americans have health care coverage, according to a new Pew Research Center survey.

Currently, 60% of Americans say the government should be responsible for ensuring health care coverage for all Americans, compared with 38% who say this should not be the government’s responsibility.

That’s 60% of Americans who are in favor of socialism. Cuz it’s fair.

 

The perfect Tabloid Headline For Our Tabloid POTUS!

Chelsea Handler blames the Kardashians for Donald Trump’s win

I don’t really have anything to say about that except for the perfect tabloidedness of the headline.

 

Minitrue, don’t ever change.

US, Baltic states sign military pacts as Trump uncertainty grows

Until you are all out of work.

An accurate headline would be, “US, Baltic states sign military pacts as Putin uncertainty grows” but our fine minitrue betters know who the real enemy is.

 

I bet Cleveland wishes they had loyal movers like this.

Two dozen moving companies from the San Diego area have vowed not to assist the Chargers in their move to Los Angeles. The group of movers publicly expressed their displeasure and their stone-cold commitment to not lending a helping hand on the website WeWontMoveYouChargers.com.

Heh. So long as movers don’t refuse to get Obama the hell out of the White House this is protected free speech!

 

Apparently SyFy movies have lied to me.

 

Where are the screams, the blood, the fully filled bikinis? Sonomabatch.

 

Duffel Blog has really been on a roll, The History of the Battleship in 15 Awesome Pictures!

The USS Maine was America’s second commissioned battleship. Ordered in 1886, launched in 1890 and commissioned in 1895, she was both over budget and obsolete by the time she entered service, setting a precedent for every Navy project since.

In 1898 she made her decisive contribution to victory in the Spanish-American War by exploding at anchor in Havana….

…saw the development of the “battlecruiser,” which had the armament of a battleship but not its protection. Relying solely on speed, it was basically the equivalent of walking up to Tito Ortiz while thinking: “What if I just hit him as hard as I can and then run?”

….“the most successful type of capital ship yet designed.” Today she is best known for the footage of her destruction after being torpedoed by a German submarine in November 1941, shown above in Movietone News, and shown below in the 1989 music video for the Red Hot Chili Peppers cover of Stevie Wonder’s “Higher Ground”.

…Like the USS Maine, this event (Pearl Harbor V) reinforced the relevance of the battleship’s role in galvanizing the American public for war by blowing up at anchor.

Read the whole thing, it’s high-larious.

It’s become pretty darn crazy out there.

First up, the Et Tu Minitrue? section.

Headline fun! from three Minitrue outlets in good standing. These are headlines you’d expect to see at Hannity dot com (if there is such a place).

Hillary Clinton Talks Donald Trump’s Treatment of Women, Doesn’t Dwell on Emails/ABC

To distract from email controversy, Clinton targets Trump’s record with women/CBS

If Dems will rig a debate for Clinton, what won’t they do to win?/ The Hill

Holy moly! That must be driving Hillary! crazy, having Minitrue turn on her. And I bet the Dem leadership ain’t very happy with her destroying their plausible deniability.

 

The pressure is getting to her. And probably all the drugs she has to take to stay upright aren’t helping either.

Hillary! getting upset that stupid Americans just refuse to realize she deserves to be POTUS.

Hillary Clinton raged Tuesday night against a protester at her rally who denounced her husband as a sexual predator.

About three minutes into her 20-minute stump speech, a heckler shouted, “Bill Clinton is a rapist!” as he waved a neon green sign declaring the same statement.

Clinton pointed a finger at the protester.

“I am sick and tired of the negative, dark, divisive, dangerous vision and the anger of people who support Donald Trump,” Clinton shouted at her Fort Lauderdale, Fla., rally.

Yup, she prefers negative, dark, divisive and dangerous anger at the people who support Trump.

Here we have Hillary! claiming to be in NYC on 9/11.

She was probably jogging with Chelsea.

 

This crazy is awesome.

Two men arrested last week in southern Georgia were planning to attack an aurora research facility owned by the University of Alaska Fairbanks around which conspiracy theories of mind control have long swirled, investigators said….

both men confessed “that God told them to go and blow this machine up that kept souls, so souls could be released.”

In their defense, the History Channel had a show where some some scientists said that could be where the Clintons keep the souls they collect.

Well, there or Oak Island but those two guys didn’t have a boat so….

 

This is somewhat cool, to me. YMMV.

Grim London is an interactive map of London with various things hauntings, murders, “just grim” and prostitution. Seriously. They list old ads for prostitutes that are pretty funny.

Harriet’s List of Covent Garden Ladies…. the pocket guide to London’s prostitutes….for just one guinea, a man could be enjoying the company of Mss Gr-n at…

Heh. I wish I knew what a guinea was. Is it more or less than a ‘quid’?

 

We are not afraid enough of the Japanese.

A new brand of chocolates manufactured by the Mme KIKI company will be hitting the shelves next year in Japan in the form of women’s nipples.,,

The CHOCONIP set of chocolates has been inspired by the Jison-in Temple…

The picture below shows the worshipping of nipples at the Jison-in Temple…

 

Seriously. I can’t figure out if that’s awesome, creepy or what.

 

It’s Game 7 of the World Series tonight.

Repent your sins. The end is nigh!

So what do you think, asteroid? Zombie virus? Obama declaring that the elections won’t happen? Donald Trump saying it was all a joke and he’s not really running? Alien invasion?

The suspense is killing me.

Start With Wizards End With Faeries!

Posted: September 22, 2016 by veeshir in Random Crap

I just realized there’s football on tonight. Formerly called, “American Football”, now called “Anti-American Football”.

mcmahon 2

Since I’m a giving type, I’ll give you something to watch instead of AAF or one of our cities destroying itself.

First you can watch some weird pics as you listen to Sabbath’s best song, The Wizard. Despite the wizardish pics, the Wizard was a heroin dealer. Smack was what made 70s music so good.

I dig Sabbath. They’re like 80s heavy metal except good.

 

I used to live near Rosendale, NY and went there for their festivals in the 70s . There was a fixture at all festivals in Rosendale. The one, the only, Tiny Tim! Hell, he was known to show up at weddings and random parties held there. My sister was at a wedding when he showed up and started playing, they all thought it was weird but hey, it was Tiny Tim!

 

There used to be a bar in Rosendale, I can’t remember the name, but I saw Twisted Sister there a bunch of times, back when they did Zeppelin and other covers. They were really good until they started doing their own music. Just be grateful I didn’t post one of their songs.

The reason I can’t remember the bar’s name is because they used to have “nickel night”. Bar drinks cost a nickel from 7 until the band opened at 10 (last call is 4am). There was a bust a night in the parking lot. At least one. When they sold it, it became a pharmacy so not much difference except no alcohol.

 

For a decent use of the ukelele not involving a falsetto or topless hotties in grass skirts, I give you the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain, of all places, playing the theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Just pray Hollywood does not butcher that movie in a remake.

You can listen to the Worst Song In The 70s Not Involving Disco!!!!!! while you read about Kung-Fu nuns bicycling across the Himalayas to protest/stop slavery and human trafficking.

 

The worst part about that song? It was played approximately every 13.4 minutes on every radio station, including nascent talk radio.

Hey, be grateful I didn’t play “Convoy”.

If you want to baffle your kids, go here and get a nice coffee table as you’re watching their vid.

 

 

I promised you faeries, I’m giving you faeries. Did you know they wear boots?

 

Yeah, I got nothing. I could opine on the destruction of the rule of law, Live! On TV!!!!, whether Hillary! and Obama egging mostly-peaceful protesters being mostly peaceful, Obama admin telling judges to go screw, I could have put a vid of Koskinen telling Congress they’re useless and nobody respects them, but I decided to just go with silliness.

 

I couldn’t find any topless ukelele grass skirt honeys. Sorry.

 

 

Me tubin’ Too.

First, something I can’t decide if it’s funny or endy or just pathetically terrifying.

When I played that, it had a Trump ad across the middle. I’ll call that a win.

Which leads to a comment I posted at Paco’s that made me laugh. I’m posting it here to make me laugh again.

RebeccaH, good point.

Starting with the ’96 election, the candidates have become progressively (pun intended) worse and worse.

If you plot the trajectory on a graph, you find that by 2024 the candidates will be a Papa John’s pizza running against Wednesday.

 

Next, some gunny stuff.

I must have been about 5 years too young for this awesomeness.

I still want one.

 

So, anybody up for a game of pool?

I’d need to borrow a 9mm, my stuff just blows the shit out of the table.

 

Coupla reposts

Good question, good intro, good reminder.

 

And of course, my favorite Steve Lee song, but he has a bunch of awesome ones.

See also

i-like-guns-tee-got (1)

 

In AZ, they have HOV-2, I wonder if this’ll count.

 

Can I get a Yee Motherfucking Haw?

Is it caturday yet?

 

I had an Ebiscu Muscats vid ready, but as I watched it, I realized it just wasn’t as hot as Banana Mango High School.

But this one was queued on the side, so I figured I would post it as a public service to the Chinese who seem hell-bent on getting into a war with the Chinese.

We are not nearly afraid enough of the Japanese.

What the hell is going on in that vid eo? There’s something about it that almost makes sense but it’s just out of reach.

I mean, you can almost see it, and then a bunch of bones floats by and a huge black guy in knickers starts dancing.

I just find it hard to believe that even two atomic bombs can erase centuries of being badasses so they’re a powderkeg waiting to get off…go off.

 

A non video drudgetaposition

Legalized pot in Washington

People are taking Washington St ferries and stumbling off without their cars.

 

Let’s end on a hate crime.

lgb and tatas

 

Actually, let’s end on more Hillary! videos.

(more…)

What A Tool!

Posted: July 6, 2016 by veeshir in L.L.A.P.H., Random Crap

No, not Obama. Jeez, can’t a guy do a non-political post?

So my ex brother-in-law (sad story, I think my sister went a little crazy), moved out of his house and he is a throwing stuff out sort of guy, so I took some tools that my step-father left in his garage, I took the saw and the hatchet because you can always use a handsaw and a hatchet. I took the plane because it looked cool.

First, we have a hatchet.

hatchet

Pretty cool.

 

This plane looks very old. At first I thought it was homemade but after checking out the saw (below), I have to wonder if the hatchet and plane are older than I thought.

 

Dont call me adze

I’m not sure how old it is. It looks homemade but it also looks very competently done. I didn’t think it was that old until I checked the saw.

 

On the other side it has HJ (my stepfather Harry’s initials, also his father’s)

Walter Cresson saw

I didn’t notice the medallion in the handle at the edge of the blade, my buddy asked, “Hey, what’s that?”

Walter Cresson

That says, “Walter Cresson IXL Phila’da”

Walter Cresson was an early Philadelphia saw maker in the 1840s and 50s who was bought out by Henry Disston some time before the Civil War.

That saw is freaking old. It must be Harry’s fathers, unless Harry’s grandfather had the same initials.

Awesome.

One more tool.

Her Natural Habitat: Above The Law!

Her Natural Habitat: Above The Law!

Okay, maybe a little politics.

 

Got my car. The new guy said he’s working on something else so I have to wait another 3 1/2 weeks.

It’s sucks that something that I overspent on just to make me happy is making me fucking bullshit angry.

Another day, another minitrue outlet obfuscating the issue.

Fortunately for Hillary — but not the Democrats — heedless incompetence is not a federal crime.

Yeah, see as Comey said, it is a crime.

They have to keep history straight

Back in the days of Whitewater and witch-hunting independent prosecutor Kenneth Starr

Yeah, and he kept finding witches.

If this were a normal election, the Democrats would deserve to take their lumps for sticking with …, the Clinton tradition of entitlement might rightly become an overarching issue

But it’s not a normal election, it’s the election where they need to get Hillary! elected.

They just can’t help it. Even in an article supposedly bashing Hillary!, it’s a call to arms for her.

 

There’s an ironclad law that if she’s hot, a woman who has sex with underage kids will not go to jail.

A Georgia mom avoided jail time after she allegedly had sex with a teenager at a booze- and drug-fueled party that included a few games of naked Twister….

started playing naked Twister in the living room with a group of the teens before she left the game to have sex with an 18-year-old in the bathroom.

The sordid tale wasn’t done there, however, because after the tryst in the bathroom, Lehnardt was apparently still “horny,” so she brought out her sex toys and began to pleasure herself in front of the gathered teenagers…

The group then got naked and got into Lehnardt’s hot tub and continued to party.

 

Hot. I bet a dollar the judge and prosecutor were beating off while listening to the testimony.

This part does leave us with a question.

she fell asleep but was awakened to find her daughter’s well-endowed 16-year-old boyfriend having sex with her.

Did two rapes occur? The woman having sex with a kid and the kid having sex with a passed out woman. I wish they had prosecuted both. That would have been funny.

 

Speaking of rapes, who coulda seen this coming?

Police in Sweden are investigating five reported rapes and nearly forty instances of groping at two music festivals over the weekend.

“Foreign young men“ were blamed…

 

So who coulda seen it coming? Anybody paying attention.

This should end well.

…Sweden. Because the government decided to offer residence permits to every Syrian who requests one, it’s estimated that by the end of 2014 another 80,000 will have come.

Well, not so much end well as make Denmark and Finland laugh their asses off.

 

You know Denmark and Finland are laughing their asses off.

 

In regard to yesterday, the fix was in.

Here’s just one but it appears EVERYONE knew that though Hillary committed crimes way worse than those of David Petraeus, she would be cleared.

The media was so confident they wrote the stories ahead of time and posted them as soon as the announcement was made,

 

Huh, funny that. A few years ago I would have said that was just paranoia, now? Spot on.