Archive for the ‘The Big Screen’ Category

Partial Recall

Posted: August 4, 2012 by socklessjoe in Random Crap, The Big Screen

The new Total Recall flick is entertaining, but the Ah-nuld version will always be the definitive one.

So many major plot elements are the same between the two films that it’s a wonder they changed the big ones that they did. First of all, nobody goes to Mars.

I’m sorry, but you lost me right there. It’s not Total Recall, it’s something else. There are mostly the same characters, parallel scenes, and even some cute misdirection, but it’s not the story many of us cherish.

No, the colony is Australia, not Mars. And the oppressors are the United Federation of Britain. (Much of the surface of the earth is uninhabitable due to contamination from war, generating a shortage of livable space.) Douglas Quaid lives in the colony and has a 17-minute commute to Britain through “The Fall”, an elevator/commuter vehicle passing through a tunnel bored through the core of the earth. Aesthetically, the colony is rather Blade Runner-ish, though Quaid’s split-level concrete apartment needs just a little interior decorating to make it notably nicer than a lot of places folks gladly live. And of course, he’s married to Kate Beckinsdale.

Back in the real world, I compare this life to my hour and fifteen minute car commute, the corresponding gasoline costs, and to top if off I have to pay for parking. Also, I’m not married to Kate Beckinsdale. As an instrument of oppression, “The Fall” seems rather pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, the colonists are most certainly discriminated against, but it’s not as extreme as with the Martian colonists in the 1990 Total Recall, where the government literally controlled the air supply.

The more realistic and less fantastical plot naturally generates more scrutiny of the plot. Without the Martian element, the story is reduced to a basic class struggle. I was taken aback in one scene where the paper currency flashes quickly across the screen and Obama is on one denomination of notes. My initial reaction was an eye-roll so violent it was almost audible in the theater, but a few moments later I appreciated the probably unintended irony that the currency of an oppressive future government pays homage to one Barack Obama.

Some spoilers below…


Cockneys vs. Zombies!

Posted: August 3, 2012 by aliceaitch in The Big Screen, Zombies!

Red band trailer!

Gary Oldman and more Gary Oldman

Posted: July 11, 2012 by aliceaitch in The Big Screen, Win!

(I’m sure there’s a news story somewhere covering this, but I’m too lazy to look it up.  Teh Hubby pointed me at the IMDB page, so that’s what you’re getting.)


There’s a making of Robocop in the works, which made me scream and wail and gnash my teeth since the original Robocop is one of my favorite movies ever ever ever.  Apparently there’s an attempt to do this one right, though – We have Samuel Jackson, Gary Oldman, Joel Kinnaman as Robocop, and Hugh Laurie as the Big Bad.

Yeah, this is old news – this was all revealed nearly two months ago.  So why am I posting this now?  Because Gary Oldman is awesome, that’s why.

Avengers: Solid

Posted: May 19, 2012 by socklessjoe in Geektasticity, The Big Screen

The Avengers is a solid summer blockbuster comic-book movie, and has the potential for X-Men style franchise strength.  You’re not going to walk out of the theater with your mind blown, but you’ll have gotten your money’s worth.

I happened to see the 3D version, which also happens to be the first 3D feature I’ve taken in.  Frankly, I could have done without the 3D.  Yeah, it’s cool in parts, helping with the immersive experience, but in high-action scenes it’s a bit much to take in.  Honestly, certain hand-to-hand combat scenes were a headache-inducing blur.

And while I’m yelling at those damned kids to get off my lawn, I think that low-pitched grumbly Batman-esque dialog should be banned from movies forever.  Not only is it lame, but I can’t understand what the hell the characters are saying.  Dear Hollywood: A big chunk of your target demographic has low grade hearing loss from years of headphone abuse.

Totally cool seeing Robin Scherbatsky, errr Cobie Smulders in the flick.  She kind of had a younger Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix look working for her. Nice.  Scarlett Johansson looks amazing, and Sam Jackson is once again his usual BAMF self.

I hadn’t seen Thor, but picked up pretty quickly on what was going on. The part of Loki was well-cast, IMO.  The guy totally has crazy eyes.  Mark Ruffalo’s portrayal of Bruce Banner was passable but not great.  He’s the third Bruce Banner since 2003, and over all the years I just don’t think they’ve ever quite figured out how to make Banner work as a character.  Hulk is kind of a big deal, but unlike Iron Man, Thor, and Cap, we’ve never seen this version of Bruce Banner before, so it was a little weird.

Sure, there are plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, and Loki’s staff and mind control seem derivative of the Stargate SG-1 “Ori” villains, and but that’s not really why we watch comic book flicks.  The characters were generally believable and relatable despite their absurd conditions, the action was blam-tastic, and there was a general “good guys vs. bad guys” moral undertone to the whole thing, despite occasional moral ambiguity exhibited by individual characters.


A question

Posted: May 18, 2012 by doubleplusundead in The Big Screen

Why, oh why, does every movie with a dystopic future have the bulk of the people dress like they’re auditioning for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert?  Seriously, I don’t get this.  And it annoys the fuck out of me…yep, I did watch Hunger Games.  As far as the movie itself, meh.  Sorry, I tried, but meh.  On top of the fact that it fuels my general revulsion towards this trend of putting children and women through utter torturous hell in literature,

I Am Spartacus!

Posted: January 21, 2012 by veeshir in The Big Screen

The Spartacus sequel started last night, not on Starz but on channel 101 on DirecTV, since we get almost as many hits for “Spartacus sequel” as we do for “sloppy vagina”, I should probably review it.

It’s hard to say what a show will be like but so far it’s good. better than the “prequel”. It draws you in and gets you all worked up, just like the first season.They’re in hiding right now, with the Romans sending larger and largers groups to get them.

I like the show because, aside from the damn “thumbs up/thumbs’ down” deal, it’s pretty accurate both about Roman Republic life in general and what happened with Spartacus in particular. I’m not enamoured of the ‘300’ style of filming fights, but it’s not too annoying.

The only jarring point is the new Spartacus. Andy Whitfield, the guy who played Spartacus, died from non-Hodgkins lymphoma (for those who don’t know). I rewatched the first season and I still think he was fantastic, except for the final speech which seemed kind of forced.

So they had to get a new Spartacus and you have to keep remembering, “Oh yeah, that’s Spartacus”.

So far I like him too. He has the same sort of attitude as the Whitfield’s Spartacus, which I like. The “brooding barbarian warlord” works for a guy who’s trying to “Make Rome Tremble” for the enslavement and death of his woman.

The cast list has Gannicus from the prequel even though we haven’t seen him yet, which I like. He was cool. You need the “devil may care” type for any good rebellion/slave revolt and they don’t have one. Crixus, Spartacus and Oenomaus just don’t have that flair.

The point, 4 stars so far. Hopefully they keep it going.

And since I’m writing about Spartacus, let’s see one of the best reasons to watch

mmmmmm, hot slave chick.

You’re going to have to count on Alice updating this if you wants bipartizans pics, I doesn’t do that. There’s plenty of eye-candy for that, not the “Twilight”, androgynous, sparkly effemes, these are the type Capt. Oveur showed Joey after the flight.


They’re making a new Star Trek movie and not much is known about it but this picture has been leaked.

H/T David Voth via Wyatt

More pics below the fold




Satire Trolling

Posted: December 25, 2011 by veeshir in Geektasticity, The Big Screen, Win!

Is the highest form of intertubes humor.

Via Yourish we find this thread on The Hobbit trailer.

The first comment

Yawwwn, sequelitis strikes again.

Hey Hollywood, how long’d it take you to come up with yet another unnecessary backstory?! Do we really need to go with Frodo’s dad on his quest to find the ring?

I bet they’ll dumb it down and make it all kiddy too. Hard R or I ain’t watchin!

How much you wanna bet they’ll figure out a way to shoehorn half-a-dozen giant spiders to compete with the one they had in LOTR2.

The responses are hilarious. Some get the humor, some get all upset.

I love satire trolling. It’s not as easy now as it was say 10 years ago because no matter how ridiculous you think you’re being, there’s some nitwit out there who’s even more stupid. But a good satire troll is still high-larious.

Now I’ve got a machine gun

Posted: December 24, 2011 by alexthechick in Exploding things, Hotassery, The Big Screen, Win!

Best. Christmas. Movie. Ever.

I Always Wanted To Be In a Cult

Posted: December 15, 2011 by veeshir in Ask a Moron, The Big Screen

Via Nicole we find Dustbury listing 100 cult classics from a forthcoming book.

As Nicole says, in lieu of content, here you go.

It’s below the fold cuz it’s long (100 titles long), the ones I’ve seen are in bold

There are a few that are just not cult classics, Casablanca? Really? How can a movie that’s on just about every “Top movies of all time” list be a cult classic? Ditto Wizard of Oz.

And why isn’t Dr. Strangelove in there? Really.