Archive for the ‘The first thing we do’ Category

I really wish the Aspen Times would get a copy editor.  It’s not “douche bag”, it’s “douchebag”.  Douchebag appears five times as much as douche bag on the Intarwebs, despite all efforts on behalf of this case (29,600 approximately) to make douche bag the common spelling.  But I digress.

Here’s a brief rundown of the case: douchebag* decides to get in the way of a cop responding to a call, calls the cop a douchebag.  Cop gets butthurt, arrests douchebag for disorderly conduct.  Which may not be out of line, except that a perfectly good charge of obstructing a police officer could have been used and then the douchebag wouldn’t have been able to sue claiming his first amendment rights were violated.  The oddest part of this whole mess is the lawyer, though – I thought she’d either be a sleazy criminal defense attorney who’s used to pulling every trick in the book to get her clients off, or an ACLU shill, but she’s…a real estate lawyer.  Where the FUCK does that fit into all this?

*who may also be the town drunk – note that he was on probation when this event occurred, and wasn’t bright enough to realize that doing this sort of thing might attract unwanted attention.

Do laundry with a side of meth?  Ten years.  Sexually assault a 14-year-old?  Six years.

Is there some sort of fucked-up sentencing guideline thingy I’m missing here?  Yeah, the laundry and meth were in someone else’s house, hell, that was in someone else’s boxers, but since when does sexually assaulting a 14-year-old not rate a teeny bit worse than that?

My training and upbringing taught me to accept an apology when someone slanders and maligns me. My training and upbringing taught me to turn the other cheek when someone slaps me. My upbringing has taught me to be the “better man” and not let words get to me. And my upbringing has taught me to forgive and forget. And normally, I try my best to do follow those words.

But I was at best a poor student in those lessons. And now that the fucknozzle who shouted death threats at some political opponent in Tucson had a companion issue an “apology”, I recalled my training, and issue this response:

As the first day of the 112th Congress begins with its usual assfistedness from the left (warning: Politico link), I walked the battlefield prior to the upcoming commencement of hostilities between those of us who wish for a better future for that which we hold dear and wish for the destruction of that which gets in the way and those who wish to stifle the greatness and beauty that is American Freedom and exceptionalism. I surveyed the landscape and saw a diminished, though still dangerous foe. I perused the horizon and saw those who wish to harm us hobbled by the boot in the ass We the Fucking People delivered to those in our way last November. But I also saw that some opponents still remain and need to be voted out in two years. I saw opponents who need to be relegated to the fuckheap of failure as we return to our business of being free people. And I deduced that those enemies can still be defeated, so long as our side has loyal folks with us who will not stab us in the back. But, regrettably, those enemies and collaborators are still in our midst.

That’s right. We still have too many fucking RINOs in our midst who seem content to fuck us over at the drop of a hat. We still have too many fucking RINOs who are willing to abandon core principles in order to get an invite to a party or a glowing WAPO Style Section article. We still have too many RINOs who are willing to spit in our collective eye and tell us that we are in the wrong for demanding they vote the way we want. We still have too many RINOs who are more willing to work as statist collaborators than as defenders of freedom. We still have too many RINOs who feel entitled to their seats as though they were a sinecure appointment without consequence. We still have too many RINOs who ignored November’s call to action and think that holding your nose and voting for “the lesser evil” will hold sway with us. And we still have too many RINOs who need to be culled, for they are disloyal Quislings who put us in the problem we are in right now for their past actions. And to them, and their supporters, I say:

Seriously, I am sure many in our listening audience would appreciate anything having to do with Hugh Jackman’s Groin, so here you go.