Archive for the ‘WTF Is Wrong With Colorado’ Category

trumpsign

The local community college is offering counseling if you’re “distressed by either the vitriol of the campaign or the results”.

snowflake2

If I had time (meaning, I was a special snowflake student and not working a full-time job and raising a family) I might seek counseling because it’s terrifying to me that someone who would bully and intimidate the women her husband sexually assaulted and harassed could make it so close to the White House and it seems like none of the womyn on campus care.  I just might be able to milk a few free credit hours out of being betrayed by the local vagina squad.

In other words…if you’re so distressed by the vitriol of the campaign or the results that you must seek professional help, please GTFO of campus because you’re not even mature enough for community college.

Stay weird, Nederland. Yes, the same Nederland that’s home of Frozen Dead Guy Days.

To sum up the article (but you should read the whole thing)… Nederland was home to a Mansonesque cult in the 70s. One of the cult leaders was killed by a city marshal, who then dumped the body down a mine shaft. 45 years later, a little person attempts to avenge the death of his cult leader friend by planting a bomb at the police station – but the marshal has been dead for over a decade. The bomb was to be detonated by cell phone but failed to go off.

Someone is actually filing suit to get the “ballot selfie” law overturned.

I was going to write some about this, but there’s nothing I could say that our three readers wouldn’t realize on their own. I’m just glad I work for a company where it wouldn’t fly to be asked for a ballot selfie to confirm I voted the way my boss wants me to. Some of us aren’t so lucky.

peculiar organic food shoppers

Posted: October 21, 2016 by aliceaitch in Uncategorized, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado

One of the nice things about living in Denver is being just an hour’s drive from Greeley, which has a consistently interesting crime blotter.

Sadly, they’ll still vote for her

Posted: October 13, 2016 by aliceaitch in WTF Is Wrong With Colorado

http://coloradopeakpolitics.com/2016/10/12/hillary-comes-to-peblo-every-25-years/

Resurrection of the dead

Posted: October 12, 2016 by aliceaitch in Uncategorized, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado, Zombies!

I suppose I should be in favor of zombies voting…

Colorado has some of the most permissive voting laws in the nation.

  • We allow online voter registration
  • We have a ballot by mail system that is almost exclusively used
  • We permit same-day voting registration
  • Convicted felons regain the ability to vote after their sentences are complete
  • Failing to vote no longer changes a voter’s status to inactive; instead mail from the county must be returned undeliverable

The last item may not lend itself to mass voter fraud, but it certainly allows a deceased voter’s survivor to cast an extra ballot.

Just as disheartening is the lackadaisical attitude of the county clerks. Being “amazed that the number [of fraudulent votes caught] wasn’t larger” shows a blind faith in the system that isn’t warranted and a lack of understanding of basic math. The number of fraudulent cases should be compared to the number of ballots audited, not the total number cast.

The shooter at Arapahoe High School (not going to name him, he doesn’t deserve the recognition) came armed for massacre, including extra ammunition, a machete, and Molotov cocktails. It’s fairly obvious from the amount of weaponry carried that the shooter had no intentions of simply killing his debate coach. Few news outlets are reporting on why the attack was cut short, though. It wasn’t because the targeted debate coach had left the school, and it wasn’t because the shooter suddenly had an attack of conscience.

The reason the shooter suddenly stopped his attack and killed himself was because Arapahoe High School had an armed school resource officer who confronted him. The shooter felt he was cornered and killed himself.

Arapahoe County Sheriff Grayson Robinson had this to say:

We believe that the response from the  school resource officer … was absolutely critical to the fact that we did not have additional injury and/or death in this particular matter.

I think we have our proof of concept for armed school officers saving lives.

An Arctic blast from the past

Posted: December 9, 2013 by aliceaitch in Green Goofs, WTF Is Wrong With Colorado

Tony of Tony’s Rants made an interesting observation on Facebork today…Six years ago, Artic ‘expert’ Dr. Wieslaw Maslowski predicted that there would be no ice in the Arctic in summer 2013. He was concerned that “our projection of 2013 is already too conservative.”

In other global warming news, Colorado is fucking cold lately. I tried putting insulation on our garage doors over the weekend to try to minimize the incoming cold; the foamboard adhesive froze and the insulation fell off.

thorntoncold

 

There must be something in the water in Topeka, KS. There’s no other way to explain how a town with a population of only 125,000 can be home to two completely unrelated crazycakes. The town was once home to a notable insane asylum. Perhaps it’s time to reopen it.

I’m linking the Google Caches of these articles because the outrage and laughter flowing from Denver has caused the servers at “Topeka’s News – A Progressive Voice for the Free Thinker” to crash. First, we have accusations that marijuana use has become so pervasive in Colorado that the Broncos were able to give contact highs to the entire Kansas City Chiefs football team without anyone noticing the smell of skunk.

Shocking new reports from sources in Denver confirm that Denver Broncos personnel were seen flooding Mile High Stadium with marijuana smoke, inundating the stadium with copious clouds of the mind-altering chemical moments before the game. Sources claim Denver Broncos staff also flooded the Chief’s lockeroom with a constant stream of marijuana smoke before the game and during halftime, as they have done with other teams for the last two years.

“It is suspicious when you have Charles dropping five your toss-ups and Peyton Manning chucking 60-yard touchdown passes off his left foot to his receivers, our guys hardly able to keep their balance and giggling,” a stoic Andy Reid said, saying the Chiefs will get beyond this game and prepare for San Diego next week.

Chiefs fans watching the game on Jumbo-tron back at Arrowhead Stadium were equally skeptical. ”You have to wonder if the Broncos are trying to give out contact high to incoming teams. They train in marijuana-laden conditions, other teams cannot compete with that. There is a conspiracy going on here and it involves the government of Colorado itself,” Chiefs fan Nadia Botwin stated.

Apparently marijuana culture is so pervasive here that it caused Peyton Manning to fall astray, and the Broncos’ woes are to be blamed on marijuana and the betrayal of Tim Tebow. (On a side note, marijuana smoked with the Denver Broncos also turned Shaun White into Eric Stoltz.)

Marijuana’s not the only thing causing our world to go to hell in a handbasket, though. The recent solar flares are a result of God’s wrath at gay marriage. Oh, and Obama’s to blame for 9/11, I guess because he’s invented time travel.

 

A bit of water

And, of course, the federal government is here to help.

Because if we were to help ourselves, by, say, flying drones over the flood areas to create damage maps, that would be bad.

In the wake of the recent floods in Colorado, Falcon UAV has spent the last three days providing volunteer aerial services to the Boulder County Emergency Operations Center (EOC) and the Incident Management Team (IMT).  On Thursday afternoon while all National Guard aircraft were grounded due to weather Falcon UAV was proud to have been the only aircraft that was able to take flight to support the flood efforts in Lyons.

Early Saturday morning Falcon UAV was heading up to Lyons to complete a damage assessment mapping flight when we received a call from our Boulder EOC point of contact who notified us that FEMA had taken over operations and our request to fly drones was not only denied but more specifically we were told by FEMA that anyone flying drones would be arrested.

A certain cob-logger may or may not remember driving through the town of Lyons on the way to Estes Park a few years go. Lyons is fairly well destroyed*, and the road that we drove up to Estes Park is closed indefinitely; there’s some doubt as to whether Highways 34 and 36 will be able to be repaired before snow prevents further work.

Of course, the WBC is planning on picketing Boulder because the fags brought the floods upon Colorado. What their rationalization for Weld and Larimer Counties, two of the most conservative, God-fearing counties in the state, flooding, is beyond me.

*The third picture is the garage of one of my fake pretend internet friends. I offered him the use of my sump pump when I heard his house had flooded, when I saw that picture I realized how absolutely ridiculous that was.