Archive for the ‘WTF is wrong with Illinois’ Category

Northwestern University football players can unionize.

The National Labor Relations Board in Chicago has ruled that football players at Northwestern University are employees and can unionize,

What The Fucking Fuck?

No, seriously. What The Everloving Fucking Fuck?


Words fail me.

H/T ESPN after the Mets/Nats game which is the only reason it was on.

Got tied up today, so here’s a short round.

This one really pisses me off. It’s the fucking coldest thing you could do to people.

You’ve all seen the story about the tv station broadcasting a zombie warning. People seem to think it’s funny.

Me? I think of the poor bastards finding out that the warning was fake. Man, in about 20 minutes I’d have my windows boarded up and be on my way to loot Wal Mart shooting all the people staggering around on the way.

WTF? They’re having a deal where you can vote for a name for Pluto’s moons. Wait, Pluto has moons? You know what has moons? Planets, that’s fucking what. How about you assholes admit it’s a planet before we name its moons?

How about a Say Uncle link?

Poor fucking Ralphie, I hope he doesn’t move to NJ cuz Black Bart would eat his lunch.

Some appeals court in NJ upheld the state’s ban on buying more than on gun a month. Wait, check that, more than one BB fucking gun a month. BB guns apparently lead to murder or are for murder or something.

Seriously. How do you talk to people like that? “It’s a gun, it leads to more guns and when people have them they’ll go on to kill!!! Just like that guy in California.”

Remember when  bb guns just shot your eye out? Good times, good times.

Bob Owens has some hilarity that, if it happens, will surely signal the end.

So we all know politicians are idiots, that’s a given. In Illinois they passed an unconstitutional law that Teh Peepul actually fought, and they won! So Illinois had to fix their, “No handguns for anybody not a cop, union thug or on a security detail for someone important” law.

So they didn’t fix the law because people don’t get guns in commie dictatorships. Since they didn’t fix it, the laws of the United States say they’re supposed to default to constitutional carry (concealed carry without a permit).

Not gonna happen of course (it’s fucking Illinois, the law is meaningless to the rulers and only serves to beat the subjects down), but the chaos that their actions cause will be hilarious.

My prediction for the SOTU I just found out is about to happen.

Obama will blame all the bad stuff on others, say that those others are stopping him from fixing stuff, talk about how they need bi-partisan solutions so the GOP needs to get out of the way so he can fix the country.

The only suspense will be whether he calls on the GOP to be bi-partisany before he says they need to get out of the way or after.

Important Update!

Well, not that important, but it’s an update!

I like looking at the search terms that hit our blog most times, sometimes I’m pretty creeped out at the stuff that leads to here.

Three people came to the blog on this search, or three different parts of the blog were linked from that search or the same guy clicked the link three times.

where’s the creepy bunny with the missing ear carving a swastika on the wall with a plastic spoon?

Where? Indeed. I thought it might be Bun Bun, but he has both ears and uses a switchblade, so I’m stumped.

Later: I edited the “Where? Indeed” part.

Let’s go veeeeeeeshing, I’ll cast the nets.

And lest you think we’re not important here at DPUD, I’ll have you know we are 187 out of the top 200 conservative websites. I have no idea who that is, but he puts us one in front of the Emperor. I would just like to say we were not asked any retribution/slash exiling should be directed… not at us.

So what’s happening in the nets today, Wednesday something in February? Death, destruction and hilarity.

In domestic news, Charlottesville, VA said that they would not allow drone flights in their city. Me? I’m proud of VA, my former state, (my current state is inebriation), but I figure that’ll be the minority. Which brings us to my plan.

Now, we all know if you have a picture of yourself shooting a gun, you go “skeet shooting all the time” and what’s a drone but a fast moving skeet? So all you need is the picture!

drone pass

I do not suggest you p-shop your face and arms into that pic to prove you skeet all the time if you’ve shot down a drone.

As for the drones, don’t forget, the faster they move the more you have to lead them.

The scaringestly funniest link of uhhhh…. this second (I forgot how funny it is out there) someone else in favor of sending guns and money (keep the lawyers) notices the Wash Post talking about how we all need universal ids.

an effective solution would be to issue tamper-proof, biometric ID cards — using fingerprints or a comparably unique identifier — to all citizens and legal residents

And lest you think that we will require them for everything we do, I’ve assembled a partial list of what they’ll be required for and not.

They will be required for (partial list): Driving a car, renting a car, buying a car, buying any goods, getting Internet service, getting electricity hooked up, all services and utilities, air travel, boat travel, train travel, bus travel, automobile travel (passenger), going through security at airports and all gov’t facilities, when talking to any gov’ t official, when paying taxes, when being arrested, when being released from jail……

They will not be required for ( full list) Voting, running for President.

See? They’ll only be required for the stuff you would expect.

My only hope is that Rand Paul gets involved and slips an amendment in that requires any gov’ t official asking for this to say, “Your papers please!” in a German accent. At least we’ll get some humor out of our newest chains.

So I promised some real hilarity. Remember when we are, so understand it’s fucking hilarious, except it’s not. It would be great for an Airplane! movie but this isn’t fiction.  A Cook County judge was facing battery charges but won re-election anyway. In any normal end of civilization, that would have been funny enough. But we are in the now. It gets better.

So Good News! She was found “not guilty”, so why is that so scaringly funny?

A Democratic Party-backed judge who won re-election in November while facing battery charges was found not guilty Monday — by reason of insanity.

Now, in a regularly funny end of civilization that would be the punchline, but not here, not now.

The insanity verdict could aid the judge’s effort to return to the bench.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha. Snort. I can’t figure out what the hell is going to happen in Chicago, but I just don’t see how one city can absorb so much idiocy and corruption. One or the other would be containable, but both together at such extremes?  It’s gonna be ugly and it’s gonna be fucking hilarious. (via the Jawas).

This is interesting.  Lebanon has something going on where people are demanding civil unions. Now at first I thought, Holy Shit! You mean homerseckshuls are actually admitting they’re gay in a Muslim country and demanding rights? How brave! But it’s not gay civil marriage, it’s marriages not performed by a religious institution. They’re all performed by religious. I don’t know how most Lebanese feel, but you know how our fine, tolerant, coexistical Muslim brethren feel.

Lebanon’s highest Sunni religious authority has condemned the idea in stronger terms, issuing a religious edict (or fatwa) that called any Sunni Muslim with a civil marriage an apostate (a crime punishable by death according to the religion’s rules).


Achmadinejihad gave an interview where he said that Iran had nukes, they didn’t actually want to use them on Israel, and then a bunch of stuff that probably sounded much better in the original German.

He reiterated that the Zionists were trying to take over the foci of power and wealth throughout the world.

Then went on to talk about Jews were getting ready to attack Iran and they might have to defend themselves.

I love listening to jihadi nitwits talk. They use the language our fine lefty betters prefer (all about “dialogue” and “peace process” and shit), but they’re still saying “I keel you all!”

Above we have Charlottesville (southwestern VA) saying “No Drones For You!”, while in northern VA we have this.

A 10-year-old Alexandria boy was arrested after police said he brought a toy handgun to school on Tuesday, a day after he showed it to others on a school bus.

n Monday, the boy showed the plastic gun to at least one other student during a bus ride home from the school. The 10-year-old did not point it at anyone or threaten to shoot it, but he neglected to mention that the weapon was fake,

Holy shit. He was fucking arrested. Fucking arrested. Fucking arrested. I’d better stop writing about this before I get intemperate.


In less inf.. fucking arrested!!!! FUCKING ARRESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, in less infuriating and good paranoia news we have Doug Ross thinking like the WND article from the other day. He links: The gov’t buying billions of rounds of ammo, drone flights in the US, the FBI director not answering the question about assassinating US citizens in the US, the DHS listing people like me as terrorists (people who think the Constitution means something), military exercises in Miami and fucking Houston, the various police forces in the US getting armored cars (not tanks, sorry), humvees and drones and ties them all together with a huge, Obama civilian army bow. Very good paranoia.

Now let’s just get some endy, China has been getting very aggressive in the South China Sea, there’s oil in them thar deeps and China wants it but Japan, Vietnam, Philippines and SoKo are none too pleased but China is a vicious, murderous, commie dictatorship so they’re pushing hard.

Japan on Tuesday accused Chinese navy vessels of locking a weapons-targeting radar on a Japanese destroyer and helicopter amid escalating territorial disputes between the Asian powers.

I will say that I’d bet on Japan for sure. Commies think “Quantity has a quality all its own”, bzzzzzt. Wrong answer. China has crappy, 20 year old Russian commie shit, refurbished by shitty commie Chinese workers. They’ll stuff like the Kursk-class Fast Attack Sub/One-Way-Deep-Sea-Exploration-Vehicle/Radioactive-Burial-Vault and a crappy Russian aircraft carrier. Say those words again, Russian Aircraft Carrier.  Built by worker who couldn’t care any less, refurbished by Chinese commie workers who couldn’t care any less. I think they’re naming it the “Tied Up For Repairs” Class.

And those two stellar warships/targets/tombs will be going up against the State-Of-The-Art Pikachu class fast attack sub and the Hello Kitty class aircraft carrier.


Hmmm, that’s a good pool now that I think about it. Where will the next world war start? Iran, Syria, Israel, Egypt, the Arabian peninsula, the Caucasus, Armenia, the South China Sea, between Russia and China or somewhere else? Kind of like a World Dead Pool.

Which also led me to think of something last night when I saw this article, Japan is the Panda of the Asian people.

No, really. (more…)

I have about 10 links opened, not sure how many I’ll use, the suspense is killing me though.

First up, Ted Gets Off a Good One. An open letter to Sloe Joe helping him with task force on stopping gun violence (Spoiler Alert, Joe is going to call for a ban on all guns not in .gov hands, so I can’t have one but NASA’s swat team can)

Quoth Ted

You will find in your assessment that all of the massacres have occurred in gun-free zones. What gun-free zones create is an environment where good people are unarmed and virtually defenseless against an unstable person intent on committing mass murder. Gun-free zones are modern killing fields. I implore you to recommend that Congress pass a law to ban gun-free zones immediately.

Preach it brother. You should be able to sue the shit out of anybody who creates a Gun-Free Zone if they don’t ensure your protection against criminals with guns.

Keeping with guns, this is where Veeshir is rooting for chickens and roosting.

Illinois is trying to ban all semi-auto guns and regular capacity magazines. I’m fer it and I hope NY, Mass and California do the same. It’ll be funny when hunters find out that an AR is not functionally different from a Remington 7400.

More guns, Tam is a gun blogger and just bought a nice Beretta, but that’s not why I’m linking, I’m linking for this:

500 Guns…but if you’re looking for a cased double rifle in a caliber that begins in “5”, this is the only place in town where you’ll be able to comparison shop them.

I just made in my pants. I’m of two minds about expensive guns. I’d really like a full auto Tommy gun, but as you know I love big-boomers and boy would I love to have a double barrel in something called “nitro-express” or “H&H magnum”.

Next up, we have a foreshadowing of things to come, from California of course. Some CA towns are thinking of or are going bankrupt to avoid the pensions they promised themselves. Well, the pensioneers are not so happy so they’re going to make sure everybody really is bankrupt.

Other cities and municipal bond investors may fear that Calpers’s strategy will lead to long and costly legal battles that leave less money to pay for essential services such as police and fire protection while driving up borrowing costs, Spiotto said.

Okay, that’s funny. I really hope AZ is building that wall along the CA border. At least it’s a desert so we won’t have too many people walking this way. Or rather, we won’t have too many people walking all the way.

Charlie Hebdo is a French mag with balls. Fresh from being firebombed for publishing comics of Mohamed, they decided to do something interesting.

 editor Stéphane Charbonnier writes: “We have put into pictures the life of Mohammed as it is recounted by Muslim chroniclers. Without added humour. If the form seems to some blasphemous, the foundation is perfectly halal. Up to you to decide.”

I think that’s French for “Blow me savages.”

Now on to wars.

Argentina wants the Falklands, Britain says “Bring it on.” Not sure how that’s gonna play out. Argentina is punching above their weight, but Britain is far away and not the naval power they were. Should be interesting.

Sub-section of civil wars.

The UAE apparently thinks Egypt is exporting their civil war (Hey, it’s not just Saudi Arabia anymore!)

During the past year, the United Arab Emirates announced it has broken up several cells it said were plotting against its security.

And the Muslim Brotherhood is on the job!

Syria’s civil war/revolution has been going on for well over a year and the US still doesn’t have a policy, the people in the region have figured that out.

In reality, this convenient diplomatic veneer serves cynical purposes for Russia, but equally so for the US. This diplomatic kabuki theater distracts from the main issue—Washington’s Syria policy remains strategically adrift.

Yup. And don’t think Assad doesn’t know that. I am surprised that Homs hasn’t been given the full Hama treatment.

I figure as soon as Assad figures out the US isn’t going to do shit, it will.

And for some hilarity/endiness from a terrorist

Hezbollah’s chief on Thursday on warned that the region was at grave risk of “sectarian and tribal splits” as the conflict in Syria continues to spiral into deadlier violence.



Now closer to home, Bob Owens thinks we’re past the point of no return, Donald Sensing is more optimistic

I have to admit, I think Sensing is wrong. He writes

Here is what will really happen. Congress passes the law, the NRA et. al. scream about it and then … nothing happens.
Some people (no more than 20 percent) affected by the gun-confiscation law comply with the turn-in order. The rest don’t comply. But neither do they organize or form resistance groups. They don’t start assassinating politicians. They just hide their guns and continue with daily life as before.

So 80% of gun owners ignore a law and our fine political, moral, intellectual and social betters just let it happen?

What happens when harry joe (normal) law abiding type gets arrested for his Remington 742 he got when he was 16 in 1971?

Obama and company cannot let civil disobedience happen and Americans can’t let the gov’t ignore the Constitution they’ve sworn to uphold.

When immovable object meets resistible force bad things happen, especially if resistible force thinks it’s irresistible force.

I think the most important part of civilian guns is that it would require a tyrannical gov’t to employ the military to put us down. Our military is not going to fire on us. As I’ve said, I’d bet my life on that, I hope I never have to, but I’d like to think I would if the situation required it.

And no, I won’t yell “Wolverines” when I do. Unless it’s the Russians invading, then that’s de Rigueur.

Wow, that was all the links, most were either Puppy Blender or Drudge.

Since you’ve made it this far, you get a present.


As some of you know, someone close to me works for a very large school district here in Colorado.  We had a very nasty period of ridiculously cold weather last winter. The roads were nearly impassable, and there was risk of frostbite just walking from your car to your office building.  I was pretty angry, because this school district reopened after only being closed for two days in this weather.  I felt the district wasn’t watching out for its employees, and wasn’t watching out for the students.

Then I found out why the district reopened so quickly.

As it turns out, there’s a rather large population of students within the district whose only meals are the meals they get at school.  These aren’t kids who are going hungry from necessity, these are the kids who are hungry because their parents don’t bother feeding them, trade their food stamps for drugs, and won’t even haul their asses to the soup kitchen to feed their flesh and blood.

The district reopened early so that these kids would have a place to go, to be warm and have a decent meal.

I hate that our country has come to this, that expecting that the state will take care of your child because you refuse to has become commonplace. At the same time, I can’t fault the district for refusing to let children go hungry, and if the kids are eating at school then their parents can’t trade the food benefit for drugs.  It’s not the child’s fault the parent is undeserving of the title.

Since the Chicago School District is shut down, who’s feeding the kids?

Just when I think it’s over…

Posted: June 3, 2011 by aliceaitch in WTF is wrong with Illinois

Blago gives us one more gift.

During his fifth day on the witness stand, even Blagojevich managed to startle observers with a new one: If he had appointed himself to the U.S. Senate seat in 2008, he would have traveled to Afghanistan to try and hunt down one Osama bin Laden.

His lawyer, Aaron Goldstein, asked if Blagojevich talked about appointing himself to the Senate “in exchange for going to Afghanistan and hunting down Osama bin Laden.”

“Yes,” A straight-faced Blagojevich replied, bringing yet another prosecution objection, hushed snickers and head-scratching in the courtroom.

He is going for an insanity defense, isn’t he?

There’s nothing new about a state sponsored religion. There’s nothing new about that religion being a huge scam to provide money to the clergy and money and power to the rulers. The Catholic Church was especially good at this for close to a thousand years.

What is new is exactly how ridiculous the latest religion is, how heretics are attacked as being anti-science as they more and more blatantly just make stuff up with the more credulous adherents not only lapping it up but heatedly defending it.

People who don’t know the average temperature of the Earth, who get angry when you try to talk about the Sun and then call you an ignorant tool of Big Oil just get funnier and funnier the more you see them.

In today’s scamtastic episode, Chicago is global-worming-proof (NY Times Link, sorry) their city. No, really.

Climate scientists have told city planners that based on current trends, Chicago will feel more like Baton Rouge than a Northern metropolis before the end of this century.

The trend they’re talking about is, I assume, the extreme upwardly trending temperatures of late.

It averaged in the teens or colder as little as 5 months ago! If current trends continue, by January it’ll be 148.367 degrees!!!!!!!  (more decimal places means more Science)

I’m absolutely sure that Chicago politicians are just looking out for their constituents, they absolutely believe WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! unless SOMETHING IS DONE! and are totally not just trying to figure out how to milk a few $billion more out before all of Illinois goes bankrupt.

Seriously, I can’t even type that with a straight face. I’ll have to practice some more.


Meant to quote this from the article above when discussing their treatment of heretics, you can tell the whole article is balanced by this quote

The skeptics are supported by constituents wary of science

You see, we’re anti-science. The science is settled and if you question it (by asking to see their work), you’re anti-science.  Global Warmmongering is True Science, it’s handed down from on high (maybe on some nice tablets) and is totally not religious in nature.

Those of you who know me personally know my five-year-old is quite possibly the world’s pickiest eater.  She’s got about twenty-two foods she eats (yes, that’s up from twenty a year ago – she’s added pineapple and Canadian bacon to her repertoire over the past year, but not together on pizza).  Among these foods are wheat bread, apples, oranges, grapes, yogurt (fruit-flavored only), pizza (but not if it’s too greasy), tortillas, Sun Chips (but not potato chips), fish sticks, peas, and corn.  And, of course, bacon.

All in all, we consider ourselves pretty lucky that for the most part the foods she prefers are healthy.  We’ve tried all the “expert” suggestions, but it’s really up to her whims as to when she tries new foods.  She won’t eat a lot of the kid staples like mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, hot dogs, peanut butter, or flavored milk (or any milk that’s not skim, for that matter).  When we go someplace with a pre-planned meal we just assume that we need to bring food along, or she just won’t eat – she’s gone an entire day without eating, without complaining, because the food choices didn’t include anything she liked.

So how do you suppose she’d do if this were presented to her as her only option for lunch?

There’s no fucking way she’d even touch that.  She’d go hungry first.  And if this Chicago school had anything to say about it, she’d go hungry Every. Single. Day.  I’m guessing there aren’t too many adults here that would touch that, for that matter.

At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.

Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.

“Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school,” Carmona said. “It’s about the nutrition and the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It’s milk versus a Coke. But with allergies and any medical issue, of course, we would make an exception.”

Carmona said she created the policy six years ago after watching students bring “bottles of soda and flaming hot chips” on field trips for their lunch. Although she would not name any other schools that employ such practices, she said it was fairly common.

When my son goes on field trips, we pack him junk.  Milk is gross after it’s sat in a lunch bag for hours, and the occasional Capri Sun or Sprite (or heck, even a Coke) isn’t going to send a kid’s overall nutrition off the rails.  I think judging what kids are packing in their lunches based on what goes on field trips is a poor judgment call.

Of course, Principal Carmona thinks she can do better than the parents of her students.  Maybe she can – 99% of the school’s students are eligible for free lunches. But the real question here is, does Principal Carmona have the right to control this aspect of her students’ lives?  Given the high rate percentage of free lunches, it seems that parents who send lunches to school with their children are making a statement of one sort or another, whether they’re saying “The food you’re feeding my child isn’t healthy enough” or “The amount of food you’re offering my child isn’t enough” or simply “The food you’re offering my child is disgusting.”  And how does giving a child a set meal each day, with no choices, ever teach that child to make the correct decisions on what foods are healthy?  This sort of restriction, combined with the usual quality of school lunches, teaches kids that healthy food is gross and so they should toss it into the trash and grab a candy bar to take care of the stomach rumblies after school.

This isn’t really about the quality of the food, though – Chicago Public Schools has some pretty decent guidelines regarding what can and can’t go into school meals.  This is about schools exerting another tiny bit of control over your kids’ lives and teaching your kids that they can depend on a governmental authority to make the decisions about what’s best for them.

Mayor Emanuel

Posted: February 22, 2011 by aliceaitch in FAIL, WTF is wrong with Illinois

At first, I thought that Chicago electing Rahm Emanuel as mayor was the ultimate act of self-loathing, but now I’m guessing that it’s an evil plot to bring federal dollars to the city.  Are the people of Chicago really that autophobic, or are they trying to save the local fish population?

The election is also making a good case that we’re going to have to nuke Illinois from outer space to clean up the Chicago political machine. My support for president goes to the first candidate who believably makes that a campaign promise.