doubleplusundead

Edition

This is really just an extension of the earlier, FEOCE post.

Let’s go rounder the tubes, today, I think it’s Tuesday. It’s February right?

In lese majeste news, woman gives judge finger, gets 30 days. Eh, not all that surprising really. I don’t know if Thomas Jefferson would have approved, but that’s the way it is. Why I link it is one of my life’s goals.

Of course there’s Lumberjack’s, “I know my rights!” as you’re being handcuffed challenge, but if I’m ever cited for contempt I hope I have the balls to steal the line, “Good, I was afraid I was concealing it” I would probably have a 6 month vacation to contemplate exactly how funny, but I think it would be worth it. I like stealing good lines.  When I broke my finger a doctor told me to “look over there, quick!”, when I did he aligned the bones. He thought that was funny. So as the intern was wrapping it, I asked the Dr if I would be able to play the violin. He actually said “Yes”. Seriously. When I said, “Good, because I never could before” the intern almost lost it. I figure he’s still cleaning bedpans somewhere.

Not all that funny, just standard endy stuff. High gas prices hurt people who use gas. I’m linking it because it’s CNBC doing journalism. Recall, this is the network whose folks were told to stop telling the truth about their God-President. Good for them.

How funny is it when I see a post where people being blown up is called “the feel good post of the day“… and I chuckle and agree?

A bomb blast killed three suspected militants in Karachi on Wednesday as they were carrying out preparations for a deadly attack

Work accidents are funny.

In, “Did he really just fucking say that?” news, we have some hilarity from Illinois.

State Rep. Will Davis, D-Hazel Crest, wants to create a new tax that would generate an estimated $3 million annually for a youth job preparation program.

3$ million more siphoned from the hapless residents of Illinois. Good, they voted for these assholes. Pol proposes new tax, ho-hum, right? Shows how much you know.

He said the added cost would likely go unnoticed by most consumers, while helping finance a program for kids during tight budget times.

Yup, it’s so small and on a niche item that most consumers apparently don’t buy so nobody will even notice it and it’s for Teh Children after all. Still standard fare. Sorry, this one needs a build up.

Under the proposal, consumers buying any kind of athletic shoe would pay an extra 25 cents

Wait, sneakers? This won’t affect most consumers? You know, cuz nobody buys sneakers. Let’s not forget the administrative costs of the tax. The bureaucracy to make sure it’s being taken and paid properly will quickly cost more than this takes in. Eh, still not all that funny. Politicians are told math will not be used.

So here goes Teh Funny. (finally)

Who wears athletic shoes the most? It’s probably kids,

While I might dispute his premise (it might be true, but he doesn’t know, he just made it up), he is actually taxing Teh Children to give to Teh Children. You know, because they’re just too dim, bless their little hearts, to know how to spend their own money on themselves.

I hope it passes. I really hopes it passes. They’ll have to raise it to $5 a shoe within  a year or so just to pay for the bureaucracy and then raise it more so they actually take enough in to have some left over to give maybe a half-cent on the dollar to Teh Children.

 

This feels cruel to point and laugh. So you can just assume it. I will say the site is aptly named, this girl is batshit crazy.

A young woman met her online romantic interest for the first time in person, and a few hours later, she let the man tattoo his name, in big, dark, elaborate, bold letters, all across her previously very pretty face.

I’m not going to quote anymore, you can see where it’s going.

 

Fucking eye doctor in Florida becomes buddy with senator and also becomes Dominican port master , he takes said Dem pol on free vacations as Dem pol uses US gov’t to strong arm Dominican Republican and everybody’s focusing on the prostitute angle.  It’s All About Sex^(tm) you know, as we saw play so well in every Democratic scandal since the 90s.

In ‘The People Are Revolting Sire. news, some ICE  agents are suing Obama and now their suit can go through.

The agents filed their complaint in October, charging that unconstitutional and illegal directives from DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano and ICE Director John Morton order the agents to violate federal laws or face adverse employment actions.

Wow. Someone actually is doing something about at least one of Obama’s unconstitutional directives. Too little, too late, but still nice.

 

See? This is what I’m going on about.

He sees this chart

 

And says this

 

My contention, therefore, is that things will have to get much, much worse before the president’s excuses, straw-men, and enemies lists finally begin to stink like the overripe corpses they are.

 

Surprisingly, I disagree. I don’t think that people will ever admit that, especially to themselves. Even as I’m starting the fire with my books and getting ready to butcher the dog, some leftist nitwit will be blaming it on global warming, Bush, the Tea Party and Sarah Fucking Palin. I just hope I have the willpower to throw the body out of the cave instead of letting the dog live another day.

Uh-oh, Action Park might be losing its standing as the most fucking deranged amusement park in the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest must see stop on the tour of The Funniest End of Civilization Ever:

Six Flags bin Laden!

The town where Osama Bin Laden was killed by US Navy SEALs is to become the new home of a £19million ($30 million) ‘amusement city’ complete with a zoo, water sports and mini-golf, Pakistan’s government has announced

 

The bumper cars should be interesting.

I don’t see how to top that, so I’m done.