Archive for the ‘Teh Funneh’ Category

I love seeing these articles, they never fail to make me laugh.  Via the Puppy Blender.

Sometime around the end of summer, it dawned upon most Democrats, and the elite of both parties, that they — okay, we — inhabit a different political universe than does the rest of the country. (emphasis me V)

They’re ELITE!!!!!! And when they act like idiots? That’s cuz we’re idiots and we just can’t understand their brill-yence!!!

In our world, Donald Trump is a surreal authoritarian buffoon whose presidency is too nightmarish to contemplate,

Yeah about that. I’d go with “surreal” and “buffoon” and “too nightmarish to contemplate”, but “authoritarian”?

Isn’t that whole raisin dee etray (derp!) of leftists? Isn’t that why they love Obama? Because he reigns with a pen and a phone?

Isn’t that what they want from Hillary!

Hillary Clinton is deeply familiar, liked by some, loathed by many, and caught in a vortex of mutual paranoia with the news media that leads her into errors of secrecy.

Leads her into errors of secrecy? Hahahhaahhahahahahaah.

No, she’s a corrupt, dishonest hater-of-everybody not a leftist. Her whole campaign is based on hiding who and what she is. Aided and abetted by a media totally uninterested in looking into her corruption.

Nay, they are not only uninterested, they’re antipathetic (and pathetic) to anybody with the temerity to suggest she might be corrupt and dishonest.

They’re still pretending she had non-contagious, made-up, pneumonia. Geez.

But her flaws, as the conservative but Clinton-endorsing pundit P. J. O’Rourke put it, lie “within normal parameters,”

I used to respect O’Rourke, but that’s idiotic. The “normal parameters” are all about how America is the font of all evil and where terrorism is something we just have to accept. You know, the ‘New Normal’!

Citigroup recently warned that investors are underappreciating the significant risk to the economy of a Trump victory.

Or at least Citigroup’s economic forecast. They’ve spent a lot of money buying the various politicians of both parties, that’s a significant investment they’re looking at losing.

In Washington, it is an open secret that many, probably most, leading Republican officials consider Trump dangerously unqualified.

Hahahaha. Open Secret? You mean like with PJ O’Rourke and the rest of the GOP Elite!!!!! who can’t shut up about how much they don’t like Trump and won’t be voting for him?

Yeah, that open secret. Tool.

Let’s end on this.

recent McKay Coppins story in BuzzFeed quotes a series of Republican operatives anonymously confessing their preference for Clinton. “It’s terrifying. He’s not qualified … and it’s a massive problem,” said one. “It would be terrible for America, and for the world,” warned another.

Okay first, Buzzfeed? Har-dee-har-har-har.

As for the “terrible for America and for the world”, have any of you “elitist” idiots been watching America and the world for the last almost 8 years?

We’ve been in a “recovery summer” for that long without any recoverying and as for the world, you mean Trump might foment war across the middle east, eastern Europe and Asia while tacitly encouraging the socialists in Venezuela destroy that country all while giving money and aid to Iran in their quest for nukes?

If Trump is elected, and the Norks nuke South Korea and Japan, the Iranians nuke Saudi Arabia, China attacks anybody who enters the South and the East China Seas and Russia finishes their conquest of Ukraine in December, it’ll be all Trump’s fault.

Chait probably still believes the words of that prophetic poet-bard, Sting!

Mr. Reagan says we will protect you
I don’t subscribe to this point of view

Yeah, how’d that work out for you? I bet Chait still listens to that song and thinks, “How profound and true those words have proven!”‘

Of course now we are against enemies who not only do not care about their children, whether in the Middle East or Asia, but are fully into sending them out to die.

I’d say “RTWT”, but it’s so stupid only an elitist could believe it.

Related, a great essay from one of the greatest philosophers on the ‘tubes. FrnakJ!

The Alpha liberals are the smaller faction of liberals who create the new and idiotic ideas for other liberals to follow…

Most people stop at formal operational thought, but there is a lesser known fifth stage(3) that some reach and become trapped in called postoperational thought. This is when one’s mind becomes so overtaken by navel gazing and hypotheticals completely divorced from experience that his or her mental acuity now operates barely above the senorimotor stage. … let’s say there is a tree lying in one’s path. If it were a simple creature approaching the tree, such as a dog, it would walk around the tree, not knowing of any other option. But, a very intelligent person in the postoperational thought stage could, using his vast intelligence, explain away the existence of the tree and walk right into it. A great intellect is required to be that dumb.

Read that whole thing. It explains Chait better than I ever could. Except I’d argue against “great intellect”.

It’s more of a “I think totally stupid things but I graduated from an elite university so the hoi polloi wouldn’t understand!” thing.


Not really related, but I thought this juxtaposition would be funny.  And endy, but you don’t get the funny without the endy.

A Tale Of Two Books!

Charlotte Police say guy they shot had a gun not a book.

In NY and NJ, the “Justice” Dept. is ignoring that the terrorist asshole had a book.

Federal complaint against bombing suspect omits journal’s ISIS references

They have to ignore the ISIS part and the traveling to terror hotspots so our fine media betters can keep the “Homegrown terrorist!” angle.

You know, where an immigrant likes the terrorist-types from whence he came and perform acts of terror inspired by them but somehow, it’s my fault.




Okay, which one of you is responsible for this string of “crimes”?

In Feb, from California, we saw this story about some underpaid people working at Burger King

Employees claim they began breaking out restaurant windows after receiving the prank call from a person who said there was a gas leak at the Burger King. Employees then broke out more than a dozen windows and one employee crashed his dodge through the front doors, allegedly to provide ventilation.


I really wish I could have seen the panic and screaming of the employees as they all started trashing the place. I’d really like to see a vid of the guy running out to his car to crash it into the building.

In yesterday’s exciting episode, Minnesota!

The caller said the restaurant could explode, so they needed to relieve the pressure. The manager and other employees believed the caller and smashed all the windows on the ground floor.


“Relieve the pressure”? That’s fucking hilarious.

Apparently, this is a “thing” now.


Phoenix! (Here, the owner was involved!?!?!?!)


I’m surprised they aren’t racing down the street chasing running refrigerators or trying to get poor Prince Albert out of that can.

So…. should we give them $15/hour or just replace them with computer screens and let the customer touch the picture of what they want to eat?

That’s a poser.

But still sorta endy.

First, I’m wondering why nobody is talking about how Obama was focusing on Tea Partiers as “domestic terrorrists” while ignoring Islamic terrorism and now we’re getting a wave of Islamic terrorism in America.

I’m also wondering if it’s funnier (ignoring the endy) than Putin getting angry at Turkey for shooting down his warplane a year or so after his peeps shot down a civilian plane.



Apparently, under Obama we’re even losing the War on Squirrels!!!!

Successful Cyber War Ops As of 2016.01.05

Agent Success
Squirrel 623
Bird 214
Racoon 52
Snake 47
Rat 25
Beaver 9
China 0
Russia 0

Dam dogs are slacking off.


I call this a Win! The pic is from a Cleveland insect musem.

bug in cleveland




Last, and most funniest, you have to love the ATF’s Facebook page.
It’s like a place for people who hate the ATF to congregate.

The ATF posts idiocies about how great they are, and then Teh Peepul come by and ask if it’s still okay to sell guns to Mexican cartels and shoot unarmed women holding babies and stuff like that.

Via SondraK we see the response from our fine betters at the ATF from Redstate which has this:

At some point an ATF employee based in Colorado, Becky Solis, told the poster to “get off this page.” She didn’t get the reaction anyone used to carrying a badge and gun is used to getting. The incoming was hot enough for her to close her Facebook profile.


Thugs gonna thug. Americans gonna America



Friday Funnies

Posted: May 22, 2015 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Teh Funneh

Not into the endy today, so how about just some funny?

First up, a Hillaryous poser.

hillary!potus or prison

You make the call!

Some funny that’s utterly unsurprising.

 FBI agents can’t point to any major terrorism cases they’ve cracked thanks to the key snooping powers in the Patriot Act,

PETA is upset about people abusing sheep in Australia. No, orally aurally not anally.

The basis for the concerns was the rights of the animals, that they might have been harassed by viewing things they shouldn’t have seen or verbal abuse by people using bad language,”

Images of ovine rape and sexual innuendo? No!

The allegation was that bad language was used by an employee on the property in front of the sheep, and that they could have been offended by the use of bad language.”


A conundrum

“I’m not sure all animals can understand different dialects,” she said.

The best response? Glad you asked.

I can’t find it, but Tim Blair quotes

For Ken Turner, who operates Boorungie Station, the obvious answer to the quandary was to ask the sheep themselves to corroborate the evidence.

The shear terror of the event has the lambs silent though.


Yeah, I know, they’re both sorta endy, how often do I have to tell you , you don’t get the funny without the endy?

Well, except for these.

GStar GTrek garden gnomes!

Guy/crewman #6

Guy/crewman #6

I really need a garden.

Men and women are different.


Got the Gnomes from GDavid Thompson, who also has a link to a calculator museum.

Not a very good museum though, not enough HPs and too many of the inferior TIs.

RIP Joe Cocker

Posted: December 23, 2014 by socklessjoe in Brevity etc., News, Random Crap, Teh Funneh

Better a late memorial than none at all.

A classic “misheard lyrics” video. Though honestly I think a few of these might actually be correct. Also, I concur with the sentiment about probiotics.


This tweet wins teh Internets:

Also, right now I just don’t want to think about a universe where Terry McAuliffe wins a state-wide election.

Virginia, I am sooooo disappointed in you.

Hoist On Their Own PETArd

Posted: September 16, 2013 by veeshir in Filthy Hippies, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Teh Funneh, Win!


Yeah, it’s satire and old.

So sue m….DPUD.

I’ve put the post below the fold, here’s an example of Obama’s Smart Slack Power!



Via Are We Lumberjacks (he never answers that question, it kind of pisses me off)