Archive for the ‘Teh Funneh’ Category

Okay, which one of you is responsible for this string of “crimes”?

In Feb, from California, we saw this story about some underpaid people working at Burger King

Employees claim they began breaking out restaurant windows after receiving the prank call from a person who said there was a gas leak at the Burger King. Employees then broke out more than a dozen windows and one employee crashed his dodge through the front doors, allegedly to provide ventilation.

 

I really wish I could have seen the panic and screaming of the employees as they all started trashing the place. I’d really like to see a vid of the guy running out to his car to crash it into the building.

In yesterday’s exciting episode, Minnesota!

The caller said the restaurant could explode, so they needed to relieve the pressure. The manager and other employees believed the caller and smashed all the windows on the ground floor.

 

“Relieve the pressure”? That’s fucking hilarious.

Apparently, this is a “thing” now.

Oklahoma!

Phoenix! (Here, the owner was involved!?!?!?!)

Tucson!

I’m surprised they aren’t racing down the street chasing running refrigerators or trying to get poor Prince Albert out of that can.

So…. should we give them $15/hour or just replace them with computer screens and let the customer touch the picture of what they want to eat?

That’s a poser.

But still sorta endy.

First, I’m wondering why nobody is talking about how Obama was focusing on Tea Partiers as “domestic terrorrists” while ignoring Islamic terrorism and now we’re getting a wave of Islamic terrorism in America.

I’m also wondering if it’s funnier (ignoring the endy) than Putin getting angry at Turkey for shooting down his warplane a year or so after his peeps shot down a civilian plane.

 

 

Apparently, under Obama we’re even losing the War on Squirrels!!!!

Successful Cyber War Ops As of 2016.01.05

Agent Success
Squirrel 623
Bird 214
Racoon 52
Snake 47
Rat 25
Beaver 9
China 0
Russia 0
USA 1

Dam dogs are slacking off.

 

I call this a Win! The pic is from a Cleveland insect musem.

bug in cleveland

 

Highlarious.

 

Last, and most funniest, you have to love the ATF’s Facebook page.
It’s like a place for people who hate the ATF to congregate.

The ATF posts idiocies about how great they are, and then Teh Peepul come by and ask if it’s still okay to sell guns to Mexican cartels and shoot unarmed women holding babies and stuff like that.

Via SondraK we see the response from our fine betters at the ATF from Redstate which has this:

At some point an ATF employee based in Colorado, Becky Solis, told the poster to “get off this page.” She didn’t get the reaction anyone used to carrying a badge and gun is used to getting. The incoming was hot enough for her to close her Facebook profile.

 

Thugs gonna thug. Americans gonna America

molonlabemofo

 

Friday Funnies

Posted: May 22, 2015 by veeshir in Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Teh Funneh

Not into the endy today, so how about just some funny?

First up, a Hillaryous poser.

hillary!potus or prison

You make the call!

Some funny that’s utterly unsurprising.

 FBI agents can’t point to any major terrorism cases they’ve cracked thanks to the key snooping powers in the Patriot Act,

PETA is upset about people abusing sheep in Australia. No, orally aurally not anally.

The basis for the concerns was the rights of the animals, that they might have been harassed by viewing things they shouldn’t have seen or verbal abuse by people using bad language,”

Images of ovine rape and sexual innuendo? No!

The allegation was that bad language was used by an employee on the property in front of the sheep, and that they could have been offended by the use of bad language.”

Bwahahahhaa.

A conundrum

“I’m not sure all animals can understand different dialects,” she said.

The best response? Glad you asked.

I can’t find it, but Tim Blair quotes

For Ken Turner, who operates Boorungie Station, the obvious answer to the quandary was to ask the sheep themselves to corroborate the evidence.

The shear terror of the event has the lambs silent though.

.

Yeah, I know, they’re both sorta endy, how often do I have to tell you , you don’t get the funny without the endy?

Well, except for these.

GStar GTrek garden gnomes!

Guy/crewman #6

Guy/crewman #6

I really need a garden.

Men and women are different.

fear

Got the Gnomes from GDavid Thompson, who also has a link to a calculator museum.

Not a very good museum though, not enough HPs and too many of the inferior TIs.

RIP Joe Cocker

Posted: December 23, 2014 by socklessjoe in Brevity etc., News, Random Crap, Teh Funneh

Better a late memorial than none at all.

A classic “misheard lyrics” video. Though honestly I think a few of these might actually be correct. Also, I concur with the sentiment about probiotics.

 

This tweet wins teh Internets:

Also, right now I just don’t want to think about a universe where Terry McAuliffe wins a state-wide election.

Virginia, I am sooooo disappointed in you.

Hoist On Their Own PETArd

Posted: September 16, 2013 by veeshir in Filthy Hippies, HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!, Teh Funneh, Win!

Update

Yeah, it’s satire and old.

So sue m….DPUD.

I’ve put the post below the fold, here’s an example of Obama’s Smart Slack Power!

1slackobama

 

Via Are We Lumberjacks (he never answers that question, it kind of pisses me off)

(more…)

A drudgetaposition

DHS buying $9 million worth of guns from H&K and Sig

DHS hiring!

Now, I defended CPAC for not inviting people like Christie, but I am pretty upset about GOProud.

As Eric asks, Is Breitbart’s ghost uninvited?

Quoth Breitbart

“If being conservative means rejecting gay conservatives because they are gay, then fine, I’m not a conservative.”

It’s their party, but people afraid of gay cooties really need to get a grip. Everybody knows girls are where cooties come from.

Now, I hate trusting a Minitrue outlet, but I don’t think they’d actually alter a transcript, you never know but this feels right.

Boehner from ABC’s This (is) Weak

MARTHA RADDATZ: So, do you trust President Obama?

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Absolutely….. There’s no issue there. We have a very, very– good relationship.

Fuck.

But it gets better.

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: We do not have an immediate debt crisis.

Double fuck.

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER: Well, I think– most people would think that I’m part of the common-sense caucus.

By “most people”, I assume he’s talking about his staff and GOP tools who hate wacko birds.

I could quote this fucking thing all day, but I’ll end on a hilarious note

SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER:…The Senate is likely to finish their budget– after– the Easter recess.

Listen, there aren’t enough “ha”s in the world for that “bwa” so I don’t want to use them up on something so fucking stupid.  They’re already doing more continuing spending $trillions resolutions.  Those are much better than budgets, they don’t have deficit spending or earmarks. At least, everybody can pretend they don’t and really, that’s all that matters.

In Fuck You Minitrue News, a puppy blender link quoting The Hill. (I don’t link Minitrue if I can avoid it)

“A growing number of states are moving forward with legislation to exempt them from new federal gun controls and, in some cases, brand as criminals anyone who tries to enforce them. While many of the bills are considered symbolic or appear doomed to fail, the legislative explosion reflects a backlash against legislative and regulatory efforts in Washington to tamp down on gun violence.

Fuck you, it’s not about reducing gun violence, it’s about control, it’s about making citizens into subjects and you assholes know it, you just keep pushing your fucking view at every chance.

So what does it say when I see the ‘Justice” Dept. is investigating the Wall Street Journal and my first thought is, “How did they piss off Obama?”

said it had received information from a person it described as a whistleblower who claimed one or more Journal employees had provided gifts to Chinese government officials in exchange for information, according to people familiar with the case.

First, so fucking what? If they want to pay for information, why is that Obama’s….. oh yeah, Chinese bribes.

Nevermind.

Another Weasel Zippers link that would be fucking hilarious if it weren’t as we they were fucking with us over the SEQUESTER THAT’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!!!.

The federal government is spending $227,437 to investigate how animals have been depicted in National Geographic magazine over a span of 120 years, which federal officials say is an “innovative study” that will examine “images of animals to see how people have changed their view of the natural world.”

… “Predators like wolves and coyotes have been consistently portrayed as a threat.

Gee, too bad they don’t make people think coyotes are all fluffy and friendly and stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t want their kids wanting to pet a vicious carnivore that’s one of the more opportunistic killers and lives in and near people areas? Sure jerks like my neighbor who lost his dog and chickens to the coyotes might be unhelpful about that, but that’s cuz he’s not as smart as bureaucrats in DC.

Okay, three more chucklers to end the day.

First, “Crazed Man Dressed As Vagina Shuts Down Pro-Life Speech” I will say, the story delivers on the headline. His mom isn’t very good at sewing.

Second, a little global warmmongering hilarity.

The estimates – given with 75 per cent and 95 per cent certainty – suggest only a five per cent chance of the real temperature falling outside both bands.

But when the latest official global temperature figures from the Met Office are placed over the predictions, they show how wrong the estimates have been, to the point of falling out of the ‘95 per cent’ band completely…

Do tell.

The funniest part, for me, is people scratching their heads and thinking that maybe other people who say the same phenomenon causes heat, cold, drought, floods, oyster herpes and the Earth exploding might just be making shit up.

And last, a quiz. I guaran-damn-tee nobody, and I mean nobody, gets the answer.

Who wrote this bit of poetry? (Link below so you can’t cheat, I took this from the middle because there are some words that might give a clue)

I am a supplicant for a goblet of wine
from the hand of a sweetheart.”

“O Friend, I have become captivated
by the mole over your lip.
I have seen your languid eyes
and I have become sick.”

“Place a strand of your wavy hair in my way.

In white ink, so you’ll have to highlight it.

Sayyid Ruhollah Mostafavi Musavi Khomeini

That’s right, the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomenei,

As the author says

Apparently the same guy who issued a deadly fatwa against Salman Rushdie and his ‘Satanic verses’; the same guy who has written a mini guide for good Muslim pedophiles on how to have sexual pleasure from a baby among other atrocities;  has also written poetry on wine, love, taverns, drunkenness and languid eyes

Did you get it? Of course not.

Must have been his Paris days.