Archive for the ‘Shoeblogging’ Category

Round The Tubes: Sonamabatch Edition

Posted: February 15, 2013 by veeshir in Exploding things, FAIL, Funniest End of Civilization Evah, Queerblogging, Shoeblogging, Soccer - sport of men, Uncategorized
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Sonamabatch, I did that post yesterday and I just can’t get my Teh Funny back.

Let’s see if the FEOCE! can cheer me up.

Okay, now normally I would think is funny, but today I just cry for the youth.  I don’t know anything about that site except they’re insane.

Four years later, as President Obama starts his second term as president, the country needs not just a mention of the need for more college graduates but also a comprehensive strategy for producing those college graduates — the kind of strategy that the administration has designed and executed for the education that comes before college.

Wait, what? You mean taking tasty food away from them? Because other than that and shooting down vouchers for poor blacks in DC, the only thing he’s done in lower education is make the special ed class feel like fucking geniuses.

Damn, that should have been fucking hilarious, I mean, that moh-ron thinks Obama gives shit one about anything but power for the gov’t and was actually happy about his SOTU, but yesterday just destroyed me for a day or so.

SMOD’s dry run went well, don’t you think?

meteorite plunged to earth in Russia’s Ural Mountains Friday, exploding into flames in a powerful blast that smashed windows and injured around 1,000 people.

Dam, even that can’t cheer me up.

Crap, more Islamists copying our God-President and firing generals before his putsch. Man that just sucks.

So why link it? Because I’m pissed off at Minitrue and these idjits piss me off.

his is yet another calculated maneuver by Turkey’s Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan to ensure that the Turkish armed forces are never again able to illegally take over the government

Illegally? No, that’s their job whenever the jihadi assholes try to take over Turkey. So actually what Erdogan is doing is probably illegal as he wants Islamist assholes to take over and KILL US ALL!!!!!

Shit, people trying to KILL US ALL!!!, usually makes me laugh. This just sucks.

More on that “debate” we’re having over guns.

So in Minnesota they wanted to have a “conversation” on guns, so they called in some gun experts to discuss that assault weapon that’s terrorized so many soda cans, the Ruger 10/22.

n the video, DFL legislators simply arise and exit without explanation. They avoid learning details from the presentation about the very firearms they seek to legislate out of existence.

They don’t want a “conversation”, fuck people, doesn’t anybody pay any fucking attention?

No politicians want a “conversation” or “debate” on guns, most want to take them away from us and Rand Paul doesn’t. The only “debate’ is how much those assholes think they can get away with.

Dammit, still can’t find the funny.

This is Ta Nehisi Coates (wow, I’ve been seeing that name for years, I thought it was an Egyptian god) struggling with how people can lionize that murderous asshole out west.

Because he believed the right things about the right people. Geez, it’s not rocket science or brain surgery.

Dammit, I just keep blowing jokes. This is pissing me off. Is it 5 O’clock somewhere?

The Firearm Blog is freaking out because Amazon is going to stop selling something. They’re not sure what, but it’s related to guns so SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!

I checked Amazon’s page, unless they’ve changed something and are trying to keep it quiet, it hasn’t changed. 48 hour rule folks.

More bullshit ‘science‘.

Recent research suggests that warm weather impairs our ability to make complex decisions

So how do you explain global warmmongering Mr Smarty Pants?  Huh?

As it’s gotten cooler, they’ve gotten stupider and more vocally idiotic. Geez, doesn’t anybody do science anymore?

Now a few mea dumbas.

Last week I mentioned that Chicago city pols are idiots, like Barbara Boxer or Maxine Waters only stupider. I could have just written, “They are basically just Sheila Jackson Lee”

I stand here as a freed slave because this Congress came together.

My only question is: How many people on her staff are there merely to remind her to breathe?
I wish I was laughing at stuff today, because I would point and saying something about her being re-elected and doing drugs with Cynthia McKinney, but I just can’t work up the laughs.
Shit.
Another mea dumba, I wrote about Battleship and was pissed they didn’t use the joke about a Japanese guy captaining the Missouri to bomb Pearl, but I missed the joke about the buoys. It wasn’t until probably the third time I saw that scene and realized, “They’re playing Battleship!”
I felt pretty darn stupid.
Last mea dumba while I’m doing it, I like movies with the Rock. Not so bad, but here goes the bad part. I like his Mysterious Island movie, I’ve watched it while messing with the computer so if I’m doing something I don’t change the channel right away, at the end of that movie he sings “What a wonderful world” with a band and he really, really, really gets into, he even encourages the band to rock out.
I enjoy it. Seriously, I found myself singing along the other day.
So sad.
Oh well, SMOD will be here later today so we have that going for us.
Update:
I fucking hate computers, I’ve tried to fix the last few paragraphs with extra line breaks to spread it out and make it easier to read but it won’t fucking work.
Sonomabatch, does anybody know if there’s a way to get to the Internet without computers?

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving

Posted: November 23, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Shoeblogging
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I did, also, I start a new, much better job soon, and was in need of new dress shoes, and what showed up in my email?

A 30% off promo from Shoebuy! So I picked up 3 pairs of Bass Weejuns (tan, burgundy and black, now I’m ready for anything) and a pair of Johnston and Murphy oxfords at one hell of a price.

Harry Reid should shut his wordhole

Posted: July 14, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Bipartisan FAIL, L.L.A.P.H., Shoeblogging
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When American fashion icons are making a serious effort to properly dress our Olympians.  And yes, I’ve checked the intarwebs, and most people hate the uniform. I don’t, I’d tone the white trouser down with a stone or khaki, and ditch the beret and fucking wear and love it.  Seems like everyone hates the beret, I don’t love it either (clicky for 2012 Olympic uniform slideshow), but I’m not reflexively anti-beret, either.  I’m already getting annoyed by the derptarded ZOMG WE’RE NOT FRANCE comments.

The reason I don’t love Lauren’s choice in the beret is that it doesn’t work well with a well-cut navy blazer, berets have their place, this ain’t it.  I understand what Lauren was going for here, but it didn’t work that well.  The beret is far too casual for that blazer, and they just don’t suit blazers in general. I do actually think a slightly revised beret would work for the ladies of the US Olympic team, but not on the men’s uniform.  I much preferred Lauren’s 2008 uniform, with the white cap,

 

Though the cap is not really traditional summer wear.  What would I do instead of the beret?  I’d actually consider the boater,

It’s a classic, bold look, and a traditional summer hat that is formal enough to work with the blazer, white trouser and white bucks that Lauren chose for 2012.  Blazers and boaters are a natural match for one another.  I can understand why Lauren didn’t go with the boater, it IS a challenging look in the modern age and Lauren sure as fuck wouldn’t sell many.  However, I do believe they’d work and look excellent, better than the beret.

But, back to Harry Reid…Harry Reid can shut right the fuck up, and Chuck Schumer too.  I can assure you Chuckie’s little push to write a law requiring that the privately funded Olympic Committee use US made garments is a pander to the burnt-out husk that remains of the New York garment and textile industry.  Trust me, I know more than enough about the garment industry of the northeast and Chuckie Schumer’s close relationship to it to know what that’s all about. I really hope that Ralph Lauren and the USOC stick to their guns and tell Reid, Schumer, and anyone else that wants to be a right cunt about it all to get bent.  BTW, Lauren is providing the clothes to the US Olympic team gratis, so double fuck the haters.

And seriously, are you really ready to argue that Lauren’s uniforms are even close to as bad as the heaping bowlful of AIDS and FAIL that Roots put together in 2004?

Seriously?  What the fuck is this shit?  I thought these were awful when I saw them in ’04, and I think they’re even worse now. Jesus Tapdancing Christ what the fuck were they thinking?

I’d love to know where Roots had their stuff produced, was it in the US?  And if I had to wager, no one said a fucking thing about Lauren’s uniform in 2008, and I’d wager it was all foreign-made then too.

And beyond that, what the fuck are they supposed to wear? Fucking tracksuits?  Ill fitting jeans or shorts and t-shirts with Nikes like I usually see walking about?  Tapout and Affiction shirts three sizes too small and brah hats?

No, you cannot go into the Olympics looking like a fucking schlub shitpile, this is the fucking Olympics.  You need to look nice, at least for the opening ceremony, and unfortunately, modern American dress and nice are not friends for the most part…full disclosure, I currently own not one pair of jeans, and dress in a fairly preppy manner (as a Certified Yankee Snob and having never attended a day of public school, I maintain that right).  I’m working rather hard to improve my wardrobe.  So yes, I generally like Lauren as a designer, and have some Lauren clothes.

The Olympics are tough in that you have to balance formality and casual and formality and athleticism.  For America, that pretty much narrows it down to two styles, the Ivy/Prep style or semi-formal Western.

There have been years where we’ve done a more western style, and I’ve generally liked those, I think the last was in 2000. A nice Stetson, conservative sport coat, trousers and conservative boot (keep those ostrich and snakeskins home there, pard) or shoe would be a nice option.  However, let’s be blunt about this…Lauren and Western wear…yeah NO.  Leave that shit to people who aren’t Ralph Lauren.  And if Lauren is footing the bill, and he is, it’s full prep ahead motherfuckers!

Crapblog needs more hotassery and awesome shoes

Posted: February 25, 2012 by alexthechick in Brevity etc., Hotassery, Queerblogging, Shoeblogging
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Also girlflirting.

You’re welcome.

PSA for Zappos shoppers

Posted: January 17, 2012 by doubleplusundead in Shoeblogging
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Probably most everyone has heard, but Zappos had a major security breach, so keep an eye on your cards and accounts.

A friend suggested I might like this

Posted: September 22, 2011 by alexthechick in Hotassery, Shoeblogging, Win!
Tags:
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It’s an utter mystery why.

Soooo….

Posted: September 1, 2011 by doubleplusundead in Random Crap, Shoeblogging
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Yes, I’ve been very delinquent in posting, admittedly because I’m finding the news cycle to be really meh, also the endiness of our political situation is kinda bogging me down, you can only do this,

…so many times before you start to annoy yourself.

In other news, Ray-Ban Wayfarers are apparently the most rare objects on earth unless you want them in obnoxious hipster douchebag colors, I’ve literally spent late spring through to the entire summer trying to give somebody my money for a pair.  I had two retailers playing grabass for two months trying to find me these fucking sunglasses, and now I’m doing it with an online vendor who made no indication that they were out of stock…but, oh, hey, yeah, uh…we’re on backorder, it should be 3-5 business days…  God. Fucking. Dammit.  It’s gonna be so awesome to get them in late October or early November when I don’t fucking need them for six months.  Seriously, WTF?

I really could have used them this year, I live in a valley, and a lot of days we have at least a partial cloud cover, if not full cloud cover.  This year we seemed to have a lot more clear skies, plus I was spending more time outside (which was very good for me, I actually felt significantly better for spending more time outside, even if it was just sitting around and relaxing), not to mention for driving.

I could buy a pair of cheapos or knockoffs until I get the real deal, but honestly, I’m very much a buy once cry once kind of person, plus I’m obsessed with trying to limit the amount of stuff I own, there are *strong* hoarding tendencies in my family (we’re not talking featured on TLC bad, but really cluttered with a lot of unneeded stuff), and I have a very strong hoarding impulse that I work very hard to control (and I do a pretty good overall, I will say) , so I try to minimize my stuff to the essentials, a few high quality things and that’s that.

I used to have a big shoebox of random pens and pencils (note, I wear size 16, and it was packed almost full), I got rid of all of them and whittled it down to 3 nice fountain pens, one big Pelikan with a broad nib for signatures and personal letters, one extra fine Parker for day to day notes, a Waterman Phileas (my first fountain, and I got it for a song, this prompted the eventual purge) as a classy beater, and two Cross Aventuras that I got for real cheap on sale as a pair of regular beaters.  Then I have Parker Sonnets in roller and ballpoint if I need (some things ball pens just do better) which I got for dirt cheap on clearance.  I have three Bic mechanical pencils on those rare instances I need a pencil, and they’ll be replaced with a single nice mechanical when I find a good deal on something.  I have three bottles of ink for my fountains to fill from, and two cartridges on standby in their blister pack for the Aventuras if they need deployed.

I simplified what I had immensely, it’s 10,000x more interesting and classy than the pile of disposable crap pens and pencils I had in that box, and they write far better too.  It reduced the amount of space being used up by 75%, and I’ll get a lifetime of use out of them.  The Pelikan was the only one I dropped significant coin on, and even then I got a once in a lifetime kind of deal on it, it is my signature pen, a signature pen should have a strong presence.  There’s always a method to my madness.

So, back to sunglasses, there are really only three pairs of sunglasses I’d ever be interested in owning, those being Wayfarers, Clubmasters and Shooters in the Kalichrome yellow.  Unfortunately, the Clubmasters don’t really come in a size that’d look good on my somewhat large noggin (which really bums me out, I actually really like the style), ditto the Shooters (not to mention the yellow isn’t made anymore), you’re looking at roughly $350-400 for vintage from what I’ve seen thus far.

I like classic stuff, and no, I’m not getting a white linen suit and pastel t-shirts to go with it, before that gets asked (though i do love my cheesy 80s stuff and Miami Vice).  Besides, how you you rock the Don Johnson look if those fucktards at Vltor never actually get around to fucking building the Bren Ten?  I am however thinking I’m gonna pick up a navy blazer, my sport coat is frankly about shot and doesn’t fit that well anymore anyway , we’re pushing into,

…territory.  Plus with light khakis I save myself a good chunk by avoiding some dry cleaning, it’s a bit casual but with a good tie I’ll be looking more formal and put together than most people do these days.  And yes, I know that’s gonna look preppy as hell, I blame 13 years of Catholic schooling for that.

Confessions…

Posted: July 3, 2011 by doubleplusundead in Shoeblogging
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…if I had the money, I’d be the male Imelda Marcos.  There’d be about a dozen toothy reptiles worth of hide in my collection.  At least.  I do need new shoes, at this point I’m having to look at more budget conscious choices…but a man can dream…

Why yes, they do exist in size 16!   These’d be about the only kinda Crocs you’ll ever see on my feet.

Just sayin’.

And yes I’m still straight, you can be straight and like nice things.  Honest.

 

You realize this means war?

Posted: June 12, 2011 by veeshir in Crapblog News, Exploding things, Shoeblogging
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Bloooooooooooooooog War!!!!!!!

Headline

How High Heels Caused The Decline of Western Civilization

And then she gets nasty

And finally, and worst of all — Stilettos –> Stilts –> CIRCUS CLOWNS. EVIL, EVIL CIRCUS CLOWNS.

Blasphemy!

Via Jay G

Update: Just realized there’s no category for “shoe blogging”.

Ghosts in the Machine Update: Not only is there a “shoeblogging” category, but this post is in it. I had nothing to do with that.