Archive for the ‘Ask a Moron’ Category

For every action there’s an equal and stupid reaction.

Peggy Noonan is still upset we didn’t vote for Jeb!.  (and even more upset that exclamation point is sarcastic)

Here she is whining about Trump saying nice things to Teh Peepul and mean things to our betters.

He presented himself not as a Republican or a conservative but as a populist independent. The essential message: Remember those things I said in the campaign? I meant them. I meant it all.

She’s not used to that. All right-thinking pols know you say anything to get elected and then can safely ignore teh peepul until the next election.

Normally a new president has someone backing him up, someone publicly behind him. Mr. Obama had the mainstream media—the big broadcast networks, big newspapers, activists and intellectuals, pundits and columnists of the left—the whole shebang. He had a unified, passionate party. (You forgot the Look At The Great Creases! folks like you V)

Mr. Trump in comparison has almost nothing. The mainstream legacy media oppose him, even hate him, and will not let up. The columnists, thinkers and magazines of the right were mostly NeverTrump; some came reluctantly to support him.

His party is split or splitting. The new president has gradations of sympathy, respect or support from exactly one cable news channel, and some websites.

He really has no one but those who voted for him.

And the more you assholes talk the more people realize that all we have on our side is Trump.

 

Nother minitrue-mistake! that somehow made Spicer look bad. They dowdified a quote (cut it short to change the meaning).

I’m sure they’re sorry about it. Not sorry enough to stop lying, just sorry about getting caught.

 

Fakenewsers just don’t get it.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s job running the State Department just got considerably more difficult. The entire senior level of management officials resigned Wednesday, part of an ongoing mass exodus of senior foreign service officers who don’t want to stick around for the Trump era.

No, his job just got easier, it was going to be very hard to fire all those anti-American assholes. The more quit the fewer he has to fire or ‘promote’ to his super-important think-tank! that thinks and can’t do.

 

I’m gonna get on a watch list I’m buying so much saltpeter for my simple, chronic boner.

 

Environmental Protection Agency employees have not accepted Donald Trump’s victory and are still “coming to work in tears” more than two months after the election.

“At EPA headquarters, the mood remains dark,” ProPublica reported Wednesday. “A longtime career communications employee said in a phone interview Tuesday that more than a few friends were ‘coming to work in tears’ each morning as they grappled with balancing the practical need to keep their jobs with their concerns for the issues they work on.”

 

I knew it would be good, but I didn’t realize how good.

 

Of course, the bureaucracy is going to be in a war with Trump for so long as he is POTUS.

Government employees from more than a dozen federal agencies in the United States have opened rogue Twitter accounts, concerned by what they see as President Trump’s attempts to stifle government scientific research and scale back the country’s Obama-era commitments to combating climate change.

I look forward to many, many, many, “You’re Fired!”s.

 

I’m not sure why the DNC is auditioning for Trump Re-Election folks, but there it is.

 

Keep America Great!

 

Someone tell Hollywood you only need to tithe, throwing $hundreds of millions away is not really a smart way to honor your religious beliefs.

Universal has won a heated bidding war to pick up the rights to Little America, a futuristic adventure movie that has Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes on board to produce….

Described by sources as a “sci-fun” story rather than “sci-fi,” the tale is set in a dystopian future where a Donald Trump-like president has bankrupted America and China has called in its debts.

Geez, they picked the stupidest religion. I do find it hilarious that they claim Trump is going to bankrupt America. Obama and the fine GOP-led Congress already have that covered.

Now if they had us start blowing up Chinese armies when they call in their debts, that movie might actually make money. Too bad they won’t do that. China is paying for it after all.

 

Remember the vid of the kid proud of starting a fire at the We Hate Amerikkka riots the other day?  That was Drew Carey’s kid.

Jebus, didn’t he used to be a fucking libertarian?  What the fuck is wrong with the drugs in Hollywood?

 

In, There’s No Proof Of Voter Fraud (right Shep?) News.

This link has links to others talking about how illegal aliens vote all the time.

This one shows that the Green Party’s scam/recount effort uncovered plenty of voter fraud (just regular Dem voter fraud, probably not illegals)

In Michigan, where Trump has been certified the winner in spite of Stein’s efforts, Wayne County (Detroit), where Clinton overwhelmingly won, has come under fire explicitly due to the recount. Turns out in 37 percent of the Detroit precincts more votes were cast than the number of people who showed up to the polls to vote. No one would have noticed if not for the personal enrichment recall scheme of the former Green Party presidential candidate.

Oh man can I not wait until people like Shep, who declared that Foxnews Knows Of No Evidence Of Voter Fraud!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yesterday, have to talk about all the Democrat-Party-Bought-And-Paid-For Voter Fraud!.

That’s gonna be funny.

 

So….they raised the minimum wage and restaurants are closing!?!?!?!!?!?!? Shouldn’t that have increased jobs?

Upward of 60 restaurants around the Bay Area have closed since the start of September alone, with many citing difficulties like the cost of finding and keeping good employees, rising rents, new requirements for providing health care and sick leave, and doing it all while competing with the slew of new dining options.

Kudos for mentioning Obamacare and other Dem stupidities, but notice the elephant not in the room.

They have some stuff about how stupid people talk about minimum wage increases being responsible, but they let you know that’s crazy-talk.

Being a lefty means never admitting that you’re wrong. Especially to yourself.

 

At Paco’s the other day, commenter MikeW, mentioned that there’s a grain of truth in most Duffelblog posts.

Case in point.

A new plan touted by President Donald Trump to end the nearly six-year-long Syrian Civil War has reportedly stalled after the president and his staff realized they did not have enough different colors and (Risk V) pieces to represent all the different factions in the country, sources confirmed today…

Trump had planned to use a single colored army to represent “all the Syrians,” sources say, but he was apparently foiled once he realized there was no brown army. Instead, he began using blue for American forces, red for Russian, black for ISIS, gray for rebels, green for Turkey, and yellow for Kurds.

However, he realized there were not enough colors after the CIA presented a list of 12 former and current Al Qaeda affiliates that were also fighting inside the country, along with at least 30 other non-governmental tribes, armies, militias and terror groups.

Too many scorpions in that bucket.

This one gets to me.

Advisers from the Department of Defense have been trying in vain to persuade Trump to take a more nuanced and academically rigorous view of the conflict. So far they have only been successful in convincing him that “taking Australia on turn one and sitting on the Indonesian bottleneck until we can build up our forces” would be a terrible idea.

 

I always fall for that.

 

 

That’s The Spirit!

Posted: October 23, 2016 by veeshir in Ask a Moron, Notes on the Revolution

Never Remember! Never Learn!

If Hillary Clinton wins the presidency in November, what attitude should Democrats and Republicans alike take toward Trump voters? It will be tempting to excoriate or patronize them, or to woo them to your cause. But all of these approaches would be mistaken.

 

Yeah, we’re just too dim and deserve what our fine betters give us.

A much better strategy — for both parties — is to engage in selective memory, and to treat Trump voters as though the whole sorry episode of his candidacy never occurred.

Listen, ignoring why much of America is pissed off is why we have Trump.

Let’s interrupt this idiocy with a little elucidating the obvious!

Even assuming a convincing Clinton win, many, many Americans are going to vote for Trump on Nov. 8.

But they’re in flyover country, they don’t matter.

I love this bit

That doesn’t necessarily mean all Trump voters will have thought Trump should be president;

Nope, but I’d suggest that it does mean that many (most? nearly all?) think Hillary! would make an even worse POTUS.

if the polls are sufficiently lopsided on Election Day, it will be logically possible to vote for him as a protest.

Oooooohhhh, so close. He is a protest vote, but it’s a protest against even more than Hillary!, it’s a protest against all of the We’re Better And Smarter Than You party and their Minitrue allies all of whom treat us with all the contempt that this tool is showing.

Democrats might be tempted to say that anyone who voted for Trump has bad morals and belongs in the much-discussed “basket of deplorables.” The Republican version of moral outrage against Trump voters would be to say that the candidate’s words (and maybe conduct) around sexual morality made him undeserving of election, and that anyone who voted for him must share his morals.

 

Our betters have been putting us down for a long time now, why stop now? Especially when we’ve been so stupid as to go against what they’ve decided is best for us (Jeb V Hillary!)

As for the bit about morals, Trump’s said some bad things, a bunch of women are going after him in a convenient time (I hope he does sue the shit out of them), Hillary! is an aider, abetter and liar abouter for a man who’s done far worse, all as she viciously attacked the women who, credibly, accused him of doing worse things than Trump talked about.

I’ve cut out a bunch of stuff that mischaracterizes what Trump has called for as ‘moral outrages. I assume, like building a wall, because there’s only one, acceptable, position on that. If you want our nation to enforce the laws our betters have decided not enforce, you’re a moral pygmy. If you don’t want to enforce the laws our betters have decided we need to enforce, like gay marriage, you’re a moral pygmy.

We used to just feel that enforcing laws was what America was all about, (A nation of laws, not men), but we’re in the glorious Now! where that’s just a hold-over from when dead, white slave-owners had their patriarchical heel on the throat of Amerikkka.

But moral outrage would be a moral mistake.

Moral outrage is all that our fine betters have.

Patronizing Trump voters would also be a mistake

Why stop now? I do find it hilarious in an article that’s basically one long patronizing of Trump voters, this fool says that to do so would be a mistake.

Introspection is so passe.

That leads to the final temptation, namely to try to win over Trump voters either by crafting policies aimed at saving the white lower-middle class… The former is at least an admirable goal — but only provided it can be accomplished realistically, without doing much more harm than good,

Yeah, helping Americans is less of a priority than helping non-Americans.

The alternative is to treat Trump voters as though they were ordinary, rational voters choosing among policy options available to them. That will require pretending retrospectively that this election wasn’t somehow special or distinctive, and that Trump wasn’t a uniquely dangerous candidate.

 

That ignores that Hillary! is an even more ‘uniquely’ dangerous candidate.

If she wins, we’ll be seeing that in short order. Well, at least until they can’t hide her illness and we get the even crazier Kaine.

 

I say we audiblize. Let’s ask Eli what he thinks (at about the 6 second mark)

 

Sure they suck this year, but that’s darn funny.

 

If you search for tenderness
It isn’t hard to find

You can have the love you need to live

hands up i'll shoot

But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind

i patch
It always seems to be so hard to give

The media is downplaying the “protests” as isolated. It seems they aren’t broadcasting footage of the debris being thrown across Harrison by Sanders/Hillary supporters at Trump fans.

They also aren’t mentioning the hordes running through the UIC parking structure breaking the windows of cars with Trump 2016 stickers.

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

The Daily Mail suggested Mrs Trump may have worked as a part-time escort in New York, and met husband Donald Trump, who is now running for the White House, earlier than previously reported.

The claims were “outright lying”, lawyer Charles Harder said.

 

 

I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don’t want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe

 

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

For the last two days CNN has been lying about Donald Trump in order to put itself in its favorite gear:

I can find a lover
I can find a friend

mila do dirty things

I can have security
Until the bitter end

wildey500

Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know

agin

When I’m deep inside of me
Don’t be too concerned
I won’t ask for nothin’ while I’m gone

But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Because you’re the only one that I depend on

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

In this new series, I propose to explore the sequence of errors, large and small, through which the climatological establishment has – until now – gotten away with greatly exaggerating climate sensitivity.

 

 

Next in the series, Eli’s coming, (link fixed)

 

 

 

 

Hide your Cowboys.

eli

To answer This Ain’t Hell’s question,

Here’s my conundrum: if it is immoral, even criminal or civilly liable for these mom-and-pop Christian businesses to deny services based on their fundamental beliefs, why is it not also immoral or legally actionable for large corporations to refuse their services to the citizens of those states where those who govern choose to pass legislation to protect the religious freedoms of their citizenry?

I didn’t like it when the Moral Majority (which was neither/1980s leftist prof) was doing it and I don’t like it now that the Immoral Minority (which is both/Veeshir) does it.

My pitch-perfect lefty brother, gay, special-ed math teacher who I wouldn’t trust to make change without a graphing calculator, told me I couldn’t make fun of that Kardashian/Jenner thing who’s trying to up the ratings on its reality-tv show, for being a “lesbian trapped in a man’s body” even though it was so incredibly and blatantly obvious a joke, because “Times have changed.”

 

If you can shop around until you find a bakery who won’t make a cake for your gay wedding and then sue it into bankruptcy, then I can tell you to go fuck yourself.

As for opening up bathrooms for creepy dudes in dresses, go for it. If some woman wants to take a piss in the urinal, it’s no skin off my back.

If I had a daughter I might think differently though.

 

Jeff Goldstein is one of the better thinkers on the ‘tubes, I mostly agree with this Trump rant except the “Fuck off” part.

Most of my friends have been lefties most of my life, if you are taken in by a huckster that’s your deal, not mine.

I will say I lost any residual respect for NY voters I had left after watching them fall in with Trump. He’s been hucking in NY for decades, they should know better.

 

 

I has them.

CNN/ORC poll (I didn’t realize Sauron was polling for Hillary) PDF Warning.

Do you approve or disapprove of the way Barack Obama is handling:

Government surveillance of U.S. citizens

Approve                       Disapprove            No opinion
May 29-31, 2015* 29%                                 67%                            4%
June 11-13, 2013   35%                                61%                              4%

So most people are against the gov’t spying on us.

But then they get to this question

As you may know, the law allowing the National Security Administration (NSA) to collect and
analyze information on the phone calls of most Americans in order to locate suspected terrorists (emphasis me V) is set to expire on Monday, June 1. Do you think Congress should or should not renew that law and allow the collection of telephone data to continue?
May 29-31 2015
Should renew 61%
Should not renew 36%
No opinion 3%

 

It’s all in the wording.

I’d ask, “Do you want the gov’t to snoop on your phone calls even though they’ve admitted it has not caught any terrorists” and I’d bet I get entirely different answers. Maybe mention how Nidal Hassan was all over the place calling for Death To America!!! (sorta like Obama but less obvious about it) and yet, they didn’t catch him.

Push polls: The cornerstone subversion of democracy.

 

Speaking of misunderstanding democracy, how funny is it that in the birthplace of democracy they have no idea as to what it means?

The Greeks are upset that the people giving them a few billion euros expect Greece to act responsibly, with the Prime Minister saying this.

In other words, this means the complete abolition of democracy in Europe, the end of every pretext of democracy,

 

I’m with him on that, but he seems to be blaming the EUnuchs instead of the Greeks.

Listen, if you’re living on their money you’ll live by their rules.

You don’t get to decide how to spend other people’s money in democracy. That’s an entirely different sort of governing philosophy.

 

My question here is:

Did Paco misspell “En Loco Parentis”?

We’ve all seen the story about the school that had a class trip to a porn store, but I hadn’t seen the name of the school anywhere else

The Gaia Democratic School

Is it a hate crime to send your kids there?

 

My question, is this the first time someone Wins and Loses the Comment of the Day?

First, the losing comment from FrnakJ

At this point it would be easier if you announce if you’re not running for president. BTW, I have no announcement to make.

Sonomabatch, we’ve been waiting 10 years for him to run and now he’s blowing us off? That pisses me off.

Now the winner. Also from FrnakJ in the same post

Reminder: You don’t get to choose whether criminals are armed. Only whether law abiding people are.

Bingo, bango, bongo.

 

Low Carbon?

Posted: June 2, 2015 by veeshir in Ask a Moron, Funniest End of Civilization Evah

Been there, done that.

Scientific American asks

How Would a Low-Carbon Economy Work?

I believe I can answer that in picture form.

low carbon 1

low carbon 2

low carbon 3

 

I’ll tell you what sup.

Life imitates Camus!

A Chinese city has been sealed off and 151 people have been placed in quarantine since last week after a man died of bubonic plague

 

Ugh.  These are people who have less regard for life than French colonizers, that’s not going to end well.

 

So not only is Tsar Putin I’s state media (they’re like MSNBC  and CNN but they have to be forced to lie for their Dear Leader) lying ridiculously about his Cossacks shooting down a civilian plane, but now he’s sick and tired of Teh Peepul acting all upset and stuff.

Russian President Vladimir Putin signed several laws on July 22, increasing liability for separatism and violation of regulations for holding rallies.

 

I just hope Obama does not get any ideas on that.

You have to like the bit about cracking down on “calls for separatism” as he’s fomenting separatism in other countries. That’s a nice touch.

Speaking of evil empires,

Identifying Backdoors, Attack Points, and Surveillance Mechanisms in iOS Devices… In his talk Zdziarski demonstrates “a number of undocumented high-value forensic services running on every iOS device” and “suspicious design omissions in iOS that make collection easier.”

So what do you think, murderous, commie, Chinese dictators having their slaves put it in or just Apple being Apple?

They’ve both been watching Google pretty closely after all so that’s a tough call.

 

A rare disagreement between Veeshir and Israel.

Israeli envy says country deserves Nobel Prize for “restraint”

Really? You people want to be grouped with the Arafish, Kofi, What-Genocide?, Annan and Obama? I respect Israel far too much to want that to happen.

You’ve seen that commercial about the “Framily Plan” where Gordahn shows up uninvited? Well, in real life his name is J. Effin Kerry.

Michael Oren, who until recently served as Israel’s ambassador in Washington, said Monday that US envoy John Kerry was coming to the region despite Sunday’s hot-mic incident making it clear that he had not been invited.

Okay, that’s funny and shows that, despite the faux pas on the Nobel, Israel still has its head on straight.

I wonder if that had something to do with the Obama admin canceling flights to Israel? He’s petty enough for that so…

 

This one is pretty darn funny too.

A conservative of color had the unmitigated gall to show up to a Democratic Front Group’s gathering (NAACP edition) and was rightly attacked in a vicious manner, but that’s just expected and not funny.

This quote from the article is what’s funny.

*Note: FreedomWorks is not funded by the Koch brothers.

Heh. disassociating themselves from an evil empire is kinda funny.

 

Geez, I just want to send the “children”, their parents and gang-banger friends back to their own countries, but Pelosi apparently wants us to crucify them.  She wants us to treat them like Jesus.

Hard core but probably a little overreactive.

 

I don’t get the problem with this.

Stoners in Colorado are using their EBT cards (not food stamps, just regular welfare) at pot dispensaries.

If it’s the Most Evil Thing In The World to drug test welfare recipients and pot is legal, why should anybody have any problem with this?

 

I haven’t seen this link any where for a long time so I’ll post it.

If you’re so inclined, these guys deliver pizzas to IDF soldiers on the frontline. Pizza for the IDF you can attach a message if you’re so inclined. .

So dat’s what sup.