Stinky Fish

Posted: July 9, 2016 by veeshir in GOP Win!

So as I thought about that stinky fish the GOP was throwing at my face, I got pissed off and decided to look into exactly how stupid they think I am.

The funding bill talked about in Intended Consequences.

The relevant bit. I’m in bold.

Sec. 101. Not to exceed 5 percent of any appropriation made available in this Act to the Internal Revenue Service may be transferred to any other Internal Revenue Service appropriation upon the advance approval of the Committees on Appropriations. Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. 

Sec. 102. The Internal Revenue Service shall maintain an employee training program, which shall include the following topics: taxpayers’ rights, dealing courteously with taxpayers, cross-cultural relations, ethics, and the impartial application of tax law. Wait, they don’t already have that training? Seriously? They need to be told to train their people to not fuck the people their chosen political party doesn’t like? Of course, we know they’ll claim they already have this training, but at least the feckless tools in the GOP are being (unintentionally) honest about today’s bureaucracies. 

Sec. 103. The Internal Revenue Service shall institute and enforce policies and procedures that will safeguard the confidentiality of taxpayer information and protect taxpayers against identity theft. Once again, something they should have been doing since…uhhh….forfuckingever and probably already claim to be doing. Jebus. This bill really is calling me a moron. Do This Stuff You Already Claim To Be Doing!!!!

Sec. 104. Funds made available by this or any other Act to the Internal Revenue Service shall be available for improved facilities and increased staffing to provide sufficient and effective 1–800 help line service for taxpayers. The Commissioner shall continue to make improvements to the Internal Revenue Service 1–800 help line service a priority and allocate resources necessary to enhance the response time to taxpayer communications, particularly with regard to victims of tax-related crimes. Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? They already slowed down illegally to show us who’s in charge (Them). Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. 

Sec. 105. None of the funds made available to the Internal Revenue Service by this or any other Act may be used to make a video unless the Service-Wide Video Editorial Board determines in advance that making the video is appropriate, taking into account the cost, topic, tone, and purpose of the video. Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. The IRS apparatchiks and Minitrue will just know to not tell anybody about stuff like that. 

Sec. 106. The Internal Revenue Service shall issue a notice of confirmation of any address change relating to an employer making employment tax payments, and such notice shall be sent to both the employer’s former and new address and an officer or employee of the Internal Revenue Service shall give special consideration to an offer-in-compromise from a taxpayer who has been the victim of fraud by a third party payroll tax preparer. Hmmm, now that’s something that might be useful. Too bad they shoved it into this pile of stinky fish. 

Sec. 107. None of the funds made available under this or any other Act may be used by the Internal Revenue Service to target citizens of the United States for exercising any right guaranteed under the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. So they’re making it illegal for the gov’t to go after Americans who think they have free speech? Brilliant!!!! Why didn’t someone think of that before!!!!!!

Jebus, they just passed a law affirming the First Amendment. Derp. No, D fucking erp.

Although… I guess that’s an improvement over passing laws deaffirming the 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th and 10th Amendments. 

Sec. 108. None of the funds made available in this or any other Act may be used by the Internal Revenue Service to target groups for regulatory scrutiny based on their ideological beliefs. Another law affirming the 1st Amendment to our Constitution. I am not eloquent enough  I don’t have enough curses to say how that makes me feel. 

Sec. 109. None of funds made available by this or any other Act to the Internal Revenue Service shall be obligated or expended on conferences that do not adhere to the procedures, verification processes, documentation requirements, and policies issued by the Chief Financial Officer, Human Capital Office, and Agency-Wide Shared Services as a result of the recommendations in the report published on May 31, 2013, by the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration entitled “Review of the August 2010 Small Business/Self-Employed Division’s Conference in Anaheim, California” (Reference Number 2013–10–037). Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. And who decides what ‘adheres to the blah, blah, blah’? Koskinen, that’s who. 

Sec. 110. None of the funds made available by this or any other Act may be used to pay the salaries or expenses of any individual to carry out any transfer of funds to the Inter­nal Revenue Service under the Patient Protection and Af­fordable Care Act (Public Law 111–148) or the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010 (Public Law 111–152). Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious.

Sec. 111. None of the funds made available by this or any other Act may be used by the Internal Revenue Service to implement or enforce section 5000A of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, section 6055 of such Code, section 1502(c) of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Public Law 111–148), or any amendments made by section 1502(b) of such Act. Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. 

Sec. 112. None of the funds made available in this or any other Act to the Internal Revenue Service may be obligated or expended—

(1) to make a payment to any employee under a bonus, award, or recognition program; or

(2) under any hiring or personnel selection process with respect to re-hiring a former employee,

unless such program or process takes into account the conduct and Federal tax compliance of such employee or former employee.Sec. 113. None of the funds made available by this or any other Act may be used in contravention of section 6103 of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 (relating to confidentiality and disclosure of returns and return information). Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. Besides, they’ll say “It did take into account blah, blah, blah..how does my ass taste?”

Sec. 114. Except to the extent provided in section 6014, 6020, or 6201(d) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, none of the funds in this or any other Act shall be available to the Secretary of the Treasury to provide to any person a proposed final return or statement for use by such person to satisfy a filing or reporting requirement under such Code. Yeah, and who’s going to enforce that? Who’s even going to track it? Certainly not Minitrue while the GOP don’t want their fecklessness to be quite so obvious. 

Sec. 115. In addition to the amounts otherwise made available in this Act for the Internal Revenue Service, $290,000,000, to be available until September 30, 2018, shall be transferred by the Commissioner to the ‘‘Taxpayer Services’’, ‘‘Enforcement’’, or ‘‘Operations Support’’ accounts of the Internal Revenue Service for an additional amount to be used solely for measurable improvements in the customer service representative level of service rate, to improve the identification and prevention of refund fraud and identity theft, and to enhance cybersecurity to safeguard taxpayer data: Provided, That such funds shall supplement, not supplant any other amounts made available by the Internal Revenue Service for such purpose: Provided further, That such funds shall not be available until the Commissioner submits to the Committees on Appropriations of the House of Representatives and the Senate a spending plan for such funds: Provided further, That such funds shall not be used to support any provision of Public Law 111–148, Public Law 111–152, or any amendment made by either such Public Law.

Who decides how to apportion that? Koskinen. So see lots of money going to “Enforcement” and “Operations Support” and not much going to “Taxpayer Servies”. Cuz they need to make sure we know how their ass tastes. 

 

Wow. They really think we’re stupid.

Of course, they have reason to feel that way. We keep electing those idiots and felons after all.

So, how about those Kardashians?

Comments
  1. HayZeus says:

    Yeah, the first time I read the headline on that bill over at Instaheh I had the lulz. Even if they were actually bound by the law (rofl) this is the IR bloody S we’re talking about here. If anyone knows how to slice and dice their budget to spend their money any way they please, it’s them.

    • veeshir says:

      Why aren’t you honking your squeezy-bulb horn, arfing and slapping your fins?
      Don’t you like having stinky fish thrown at your face?

      Damn unhelpful tea-party terrorist!

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