doubleplusundead

Above the Post Update Cuz I Mean To Put This In The Post.

Chavez is Dead! The only bad thing is that he died in between Dead Pools, (I’d click that link just for the pic, it’s awesome) so nobody gets the dick. Oh well.

Recall a few weeks ago they were talking about what happens after Chavez, so here are the players for their Civil War.

I’m not sure who to root for, the secret policeman or the army guy. Eh, either way it’ll be interesting.

Now, back the post!

 

A buddy of mine in DC says Snowquestration is the gubmint werker name for the coming snow storm.

I bet snowquestration is just like the sequestration, a bunch of gov’t workers will be told to stay home and they’ll be paid for it.

I was always torn on snow days when I worked for the gov’t. On the one hand, they were wasting $millions. On the other hand, Snow Day!

WTF happened to Jeopardy!? I tried to watch it last night for the first time in a long time, years probably. They had a category about celebrities’ favorite tv shows.
The “celebrities” were a bunch of “journalists” and Lewis Black (Kids, ask your grandparents who he is). Repeat after me, blow-dried, teleprompter readers are not celebrities.

So okay, I could take that. I understand today’s teleprompter readers think they’re celebrities, but I still didn’t like it.

Then they had a category on “exiles”,  I forget the first one, the next was Dante. Then, this answer, “He was forced to leave the US…” and the question was “Who was Roman Polanski”.

No fucking mention of his drugging a 14 year old and rape-raping her, just “he had to leave”.

And that’s why we’re so fucked. Every facet of every entertainment outlet pushes leftist ideas as normal.

So low info types think MSNBC isn’t full of shit-flinging monkeys, Foxnews is right-wing hate and Obama isn’t a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure while the tens of thousands of people in the righty-blogosphere are just reduced to watching it happen.

So that’s why it’s more important than ever to laugh.

This morning I said the Wash Post wouldn’t correct their ‘reportage’ on how the Daily Caller were lying liars who lie.

The once-legendary Washington Post has been caught once again correcting a high-profile article without noting the correction

Boy do I have egg on my face.

We saw earlier that the Norks are all upset and they’re GONNA KILL US ALL!!!!!, apparently they’re upset about China and the US agreeing on sanctions.

Okay, so what is China doing? They’ve basically agreed to sanctions on one of their provinces (the crazy one they use to fuck with the rest of the world), so what game are they playing?

Trying to figure out stuff like that is what makes any end of civilization interesting, watching people pretend China is not happy about the Norks is a good example of why this one is so funny.

Okay, now I feel kind of stupid, apparently the “Cannibal” of the NY Post didn’t actually eat anybody, he just read websites about it and talked about it. I’m not defending any of that, but he didn’t actually do anything but talk shit on the intertubes.

All I can say is that any of you people playing World of Warcraft had better be careful about who you kill.

I love it when Minitrue outlets talk about how Obama is losing!!!

I like this part.

On taxes, McConnell (R-Ky.) just flat-out beat Joe Biden. He preserved 98 percent of the Bush tax cuts in perpetuity, which from a policy perspective is huge. He also made sure that the payroll tax holiday came to a conclusion, thereby making sure that every American would feel the tax increase that President Obama has long been fighting for.

So they kept taxes low and raised taxes and that’s a win?More

On spending, the Republicans haven’t gotten everything they wanted. But they did get the rebranding opportunity that they so desperately needed

No, they didn’t get anything they wanted and the rebranding is bullshit. They’re still going to blamed for……

Oh, I get it. This is a “See? It’s the GOP’s fault!!!” article.

Sorry, I didn’t see what you were doing there O’Brien.

Wyatt catches some fucking hilariously infuriating bullshit. The First Worf is talking about kids living in gun-free zones (actual results may vary) and she acknowledges that some people don’t have Secret Service guarding their kids so it’s unsafe to go outside so: A Wii for every organized-community resident!

I would encourage parents that if they also find themselves in a situation where they can’t get outside, then let’s figure out what we can do indoors because it doesn’t take the great outdoors to be moving every day.”

Fuck you. That’s the only response to that. They take guns and then tell you to hide under your bed. Fuck you. I can’t say that strongly enough.

In Hey!, Our Phoney Baloney Jobs Are In Trouble news,

In this photo taken Feb. 14, 2013, Peter Bensinger, a former Drug Enforcement Administration chief under Presidents Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan, speaks at a news conference in Chicago. Bensinger is one of eight former DEA chiefs that say the federal government needs to act now or it might lose the chance to nullify Colorado and Washington’s laws legalizing recreational marijuana use.

I mean, where else can you legally get guns, a badge, a kevlar vest and go around kicking in peoples’ doors and shooting their dogs?

In most countries not named “America”, that’s where. I say we send these assholes to Pakistan or Egypt. They can take their MRAPs with them.

In Ukraine their pols are actually noticing reality!

Hefty payroll taxes are one reason behind Ukraine’s massive gray economy, in which millions of workers are simply never declared by their employers as official employees.

To move labor out of the shadows, authorities are proposing to drastically cut the monthly contribution, which funds the heavily indebted pension system. Proponents argue that a wider tax base will make up for losses.

When you get freaking crazy about taking people’s money, they won’t give it to you. When you relax your overbearing takings, they are more likely to give you money! This would also result in strengthening the respect for the rule of law.

Of course in America, they’re going the “take away their guns and arm the feds to the teeth to make them respect the law” route. Ukraine, of course, has a lot of history with that approach.

People have been wondering why they’re taking so long to start deliberating on choosing the next pope, this article has an idea on why. Headline

Non-European bias before conclave begins

Sounds plausible, I know they wanted one of those Africans to be the next pope as Africa is a place where Christianity is growing. This would make it cooler for Africans and maybe get people happy about Catholicism and less happy with the murderous Sudanese type of Religion of Pieces type.

Now, my only use for buckets is to barf in, but this is a cool place to visit.

Awesome. That’s not CGI, it’s a subterranean deal in Utah. I’ve been to Howe Caverns in NY and Luray Caverns in VA, they’re awesome. I really want to check this out.

Eh, not as funny as this morning, but I didn’t start off after reading about Chicago cops driving rental cars on patrol.

I’d love to see the rental agreement on that, somehow I doubt the insurance is $3/day.